Wisdom For Today - October

[bluidkiti]

October 12

Wisdom for Today

There was no way that I ever would have learned how to stay clean and sober on my own. All I wanted to do was get wasted. I wanted to drink and use more than anything else. If I ever was going to get into recovery and stay there, I had to learn to want something else more than I wanted to get high. I had no idea what it would be like to live life without drugs and alcohol. I thought it would be boring. I thought it would be painful. I thought it would be lonely. At first I know that it simply was faith that kept me clean and sober -- faith that there could be a better way to live my life. I don't think I really believed that I could be happy, but it had to be better than the self-destructive insanity that I was living in.

As I started to go to meetings, I saw over and over that the people there were happy. Yes, many of them still had problems; but they were happy. Slowly I began to want what they had. I wanted to find that inner peace, and I wanted to find out how they got it. I began to want recovery more than I wanted to get high. I began to want to go to meetings more than I wanted to go to the tavern. Soon I found that my life was going better. I no longer dreaded waking up in the morning. I actually began to look forward to the day. I looked forward to going to meetings. I began to enjoy the camaraderie of the fellowship. I felt like I belonged. I felt like people really cared about me. I also began to feel like God really cared about me. I began to really like what was happening to me, and I wanted to keep it more than I wanted to drink or use. Do I want recovery more than I want my addiction?

Meditations for the Heart

Impatience was something that followed me into recovery. I had walked though life in a very self-centered manner. My attitude was, "I want what I want, and I want it right now." Learning to wait was hard for me. I never liked standing in line, unless I was first in line. I never could wait till my next party-time. I always wanted it now. My sponsor encouraged me to begin to pray for patience. Then one day it seemed as if everything that could go wrong did. Family problems, car problems and work problems all in the same day! That night I went to a meeting and told everyone there about the miserable day I had. I wanted my friends to feel sorry for me. As people around the tables began to comment, each of them talked about similar bad days and how the program helped them. Then this old-timer, sitting across from me, said, "It sounds like God gave you many opportunities today to practice patience." Not what I wanted to hear, but it was what I needed to hear! My impatience through the day made me miserable. It was me that had made things so bad, not the events of the day. Have I learned to be quietly patient?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Some days I just want to throw in the towel. I feel like giving up. On the days that I struggle, remind me that You have a plan for me. Teach me to be patient and wait for Your will to be done in my life. Strengthen my faith each day that life in recovery will indeed make my life better. Give me that inner peace I seek.

Amen.