Today's Thought - April
 

April 1

Developing a sense of humor

We may not believe this, but it helps to think that life isn't strictly serious. There's much humor in it, and a sense of humor often eases pain. If we can laugh, chances are we can forgive both ourselves and others.

It may not feel like it, but recovery isn't strictly serious either. Staying sober (and helping others do the same) is often a process full of joy.

Can I find something to laugh at today?

Higher Power, help me see the humor in all my seriousness. Help me laugh.

Today I will get in touch with my sense of humor by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

April 2

Becoming Our Own Best Friend

In a certain sense, recovery from any of the things that we recover from is about learning how to become our own best friend. Making friends with ourselves is not an easy concept for us to grasp initially, but we figure it out eventually. We befriend ourselves by stopping the behaviors that are causing us harm, then doing the work that we need to do to heal our traumas and, over time, release our past.

We befriend ourselves by treating ourselves kindly and with appreciation - the same ways that we treat other friends in our life. After years of being our own worst enemy, becoming our own best friend is a relief and an opportunity. It opens the door to self-care, self-compassion, and, over time, self-love. Becoming our own best friend is an important milestone in our healing. After all, we can never have too many friends, right?

Are you your own best friend? If not, can you practice treating yourself as you would treat a dear friend?

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

April 3

Getting Help While Still in Denial

I did not want to go to the hospital. I didn't want to get help. I had a couple of close friends who were the ones to actually drag me into the car and drive me there. It was a bad scene at the hospital, because they had to call security when we arrived. Four or five guys had to come out and physically drag me inside and then hold me down when I got there.

My journey to sobriety was difficult, and I didn't want to go there at all. I guess you could say I was in denial about how bad things had gotten. But it was good to have those kinds of people in my life - people who knew that something was wrong, that I needed help, and how to get me there. Honestly, I don't know if I would still be here if it weren't for them.

So I am definitely thankful to them for putting me - reluctantly - on this path that I'm so grateful to be following today.

Today I will be grateful for those who have helped me on this sobriety journey.

~John K., U.S. Navy, 2005–2009

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

April 4

Reflection for the Day

Every man and woman who has joined the program and intends to stick around has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true that, in all matters related to their addictions, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of the program? So already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one's own will and one's own ideas about the addiction in favor of those suggested by the program. If this isn't turning one's will and life over to a newfound "Providence," then what is it? Have I had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps?
Today I Pray

For myself, I pray for a life that is grounded and centered with my Higher Power. I thank my Higher Power often for the spiritual awakening I have felt since I turned my life over to it. May the words spiritual awakening be a clue to others that there is a free fund of spiritual power within each person. It must only be discovered.
Today I Will Remember

I will try to be Higher Power–centered.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

April 5

Taking an inventory helps us know who we really are.

Before calling it a day, let's look honestly at who we were today. Were we thoughtful and courteous to our friends and lovers? Did we criticize them for not living up to our expectations? Did we put ourselves down for not measuring up to the standards of someone else? Did we ask our Higher Power for guidance, or were we ego-bound?

Getting to know who we are is crucial if we are to change. Doing a daily inventory reflects our willingness to look at ourselves. Most of us want to make changes, or we wouldn't be here in this program. However, we don't have to change everything at once. In fact, that wouldn’t be possible. Let's just focus on a small change.

Evaluating ourselves at the end of each day will clarify what we need to do differently.

I can be the person I really want to be if I know which behaviors I need to change. I'll do an inventory today.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

April 6

The god in him had cried out to the god in me.

~Mary Renault

There are times when we seem to be looking directly into the depths of another person's soul. We associate these moments of deep communication and closeness - seeming oneness - with sexual intimacy, but in fact they can occur in a friendship or in any kind of relationship that permits us to come together in a profound experience of sharing. At such privileged moments, we sense that our human love is both a part and an expression of something larger. We sense that we are channels for a loving energy that fuels the universe.

We can't always have peak experiences. But we can see the divine in others, if we look for it. We can treat as sacred all the ways that our lives touch other lives. We can share in a way that allows others to begin to see into our souls.

Today, all my relationships are part of my relationship with a Higher Power.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

April 7

Patience

How sick and tired we may become of people telling us to be patient or to learn patience. How frustrating it can be to want to finally have something, or to move forward, and then not have that happen. How irritating to have someone tell us to wait while our needs have not been met and we're in the midst of anxiety, frustration, and inaction.

Do not confuse the suggestion to be patient with the old rule about not having feelings. Being patient does not mean we go through the sometimes grueling process of life and recovery without having feelings! Feel the frustration. Feel the impatience. Get as angry as you need to about not having your needs met. Feel your fear. Controlling our feelings will not control the process!

We find patience by surrendering to our feelings. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. When we work through our feelings to fully accept who we are and what we have, we will be ready to be and have more.

Today, I will let myself have my feelings while I practice patience.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

April 8

Most of us would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

~Jimmy F.

It is not always the person who tells us nice things that is our friend. Often the one who cares enough to tell us the truth - even if that truth hurts - is the one who cares the most.

Adult children oftentimes have problems with boundaries. We do not always see where we are out of bounds. We are too close to the situation. We do not have perspective. It is a friend who has some distance from us and our environment who can be more objective. When friends tell us what they see, we gain the perspective to make healthier decisions.

Just because it is criticism doesn't mean that they are right or that we should believe them. And just because it is criticism doesn't mean we should reject the person and dismiss what is said.

As I learn to accept my imperfections, I am better able to accept honesty from others.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

April 9

Unthankfulness is theft.

~Martin Luther

Many of us have experienced a guest who tracked in dirt, ate our food, dirtied our dishes, took our time, whined and complained through the whole visit, and left without saying thank you. Such experiences leave us feeling angry and ripped off. We aren't eager to invite that person back to our home or to do any favors for him or her.

Let’s make sure we don't act like that bad guest. Let's be aware of the kind things people do for us every day - from greeting us with a smile or opening a door to preparing a meal or washing our clothes. Let's remember that we've been given the gift of sobriety and to daily offer prayers of gratitude. Let us look around the group and be grateful for those who offer us their stories and their hope. Higher Power, thank you! To my group, thank you! To life, thank you!
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for inviting me into your house and for the many wonderful gifts you have given me. Thank you for your love and the gift of sobriety.
Today's Action

Today I will call three group members and thank them for what they have given me.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

April 10

Education is not a product: mark, diploma, job, money - in that order; it is a process.

~Bel Kaufman

Sometimes we think of education in terms of cash and security: we have to learn this before we can achieve that status. We talk about learning as an investment and insurance, and we get mad if it doesn't pay off.

Some of us may think of the education in a Twelve Step program in similar terms: I’ve gotten to Step Eight, only four more to go and I'm cured, I'm happy, I'm free. But education is a way of being in and viewing the world. It is a way, a path. It should be a journey, an adventure, an exploration of ourselves and our relationships with others in the world.

Our programs take place in time, and they go on for the rest of our lives. Each Step is an affirmation of a certain way of being and needs to be repeated and related to every other Step indefinitely. Like life, this kind of education is continuous, open-ended, and enduring.

My program is an ongoing process that continues to open new ways of being and relating to the world.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

April 11

Wisdom

He who would distinguish the true from the false must have an adequate idea of what is true and false.

~Baruch Spinoza

Wisdom is common sense. It will help us make the right choices in our attitudes and behavior. That way we can continue our spiritual progress.

Sometimes, wisdom is simply willingness to accept with faith the things we don't know from personal experience. We must receive, with an open mind, the messages of those who have lived through the problems we are facing for the first time.

We need to look for and listen to the wisdom in others. If we do, we will gain confidence in our own ability to tell the true from the false. We will begin to practice the principles of our recovery program in all parts of our lives.

Wisdom is earned. Wisdom is precious. The wise need simply to stand in silence for their wisdom to reveal itself. Let me learn wisdom.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

April 12

How can anybody read the Gospels and fail to see how Jesus, in his contacts with all sorts and conditions of people, even the apparent good-for-nothings and worse, always seemed to find in them possibilities for sublime development?

~Carroll E. Simcox

Many of us feel we don't deserve God's love. We judge ourselves harshly and attribute the same judgment to God as the strict parent, the demanding teacher, or the punishing judge. We cannot believe that anyone could accept us as we are, and so we don't turn toward God.

Why do we feel this way? Perhaps because it's hard to feel that God could love us when we so rarely received love without strings attached from others. Many of us remain skeptical even when newfound spiritual friends shower us with love. Though we may not realize it at the time, these friends are providing a human framework into which the unconditional love of God can fit. If these friends can accept us as we are, we think, maybe God will, too. And of course God does.

When my hand reaches out to another, God's hand reaches back.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

April 13

My life takes the course intended by my Higher Power when I go with the flow instead of against it.

~Kathy Kendall

The number of times we struggle today is directly related to how many outcomes we try to force. Our unwillingness to go with the flow can throw our journey off course. There is a rhythm to our lives - a pace and a direction - that's been set by our Higher Power. Until we come to believe in that truth and become willing to trust it, we'll cause ourselves many unnecessary problems and conflicts.

It’s restful to believe that there is a plan for our lives. It takes away the fretting and the guesswork, leaving many hours for play and creativity. It also assures us that we are special, not forgotten as we may have feared in the past.

I am willing to believe that I am on a special journey. Today's experiences are part of it. I won't fight them.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

April 14

When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.

~Alexander Graham Bell

Change is a basic fact of life, and with every change comes a loss. Even winning the lottery entails the loss of our life before the big win. During some periods of our life, we feel we are stuck and nothing changes, or we feel trapped in a situation we would love to change. Other times a change occurs that we would never choose, and we have to find a way to continue living with the new reality.

Coping with the closing and opening of doors is a fundamental spiritual matter. We are pilgrims on a journey and much of what happens along our way is beyond our control. Today will bring some things that we did not expect, and with the changes will be new possibilities that we did not expect. So we hold the spiritual attitude that while we cannot control what happens, we can choose how we will respond.

Today, I pray for the spiritual vision to see the doors that open for me.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

This reading goes great
With the daily motivational
reading today.

April 15

AA Thought for the Day

Since I've been putting sobriety into my life, I've been getting a lot of good things. I can describe it best as a kind of quiet satisfaction. I feel good. I feel right with the world - on the right side of the fence. As long as I put sobriety into my life, almost everything I take out is good. The satisfaction you get out of living a sober life is made up of a lot of little things. You have the ambition to do things you didn't feel like doing when you were drinking. Am I getting satisfaction out of living a sober life?
Meditation for the Day

It is a glorious way - the upward way. There are wonderful discoveries in the realm of the spirit. There are tender intimacies in the quiet times of communion with God. There is an amazing, almost incomprehensible understanding of the other person. On the upward way, you can have all the strength you need from that Higher Power. You cannot make too many demands on Him for strength. He gives you all the power you need, as long as you are moving along the upward way.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may see the beautiful horizons ahead on the upward way. I pray that I may keep going forward to the more abundant life.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

April 16

There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me.

~Virginia Satir

Most of us feel pretty ordinary. We probably wish we were taller or shorter. Some of us are fat rather than thin. Few of us have perfect skin or teeth. Often we look at others, compare ourselves, and wish we were different. At these times. it's important to remember that each of us is special. We differ from others because we're created for different purposes.

Some of us will make a contribution to the world of sports, some to the art of music. Teaching or medicine will attract others and yet, no two of us will give to the world in the same way. Our unique mixture of looks, attitudes, and abilities will be special and very necessary to the people sharing our lifetime.

How can I give my special gift to the world today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

April 17

You're never too old to grow up.

~Shirley Conran

Some of us have spent many years trying not to grow up. As children, we watched the adults around us. They may not have seemed happy. "Is life all hard work for grown-ups?" we wondered.

No, it's not all hard work. There are lots of good things about growing up. We can take charge of our life. We can learn to take care of ourselves. We can learn to share our feelings with good friends. We can make our world safe enough for us to express feelings again. We can learn how to love others. We do have choices.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me grow up into a happy, grateful adult.
Action for the Day

There are happy grown-ups. I'll find one to be my sponsor.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

April 18

Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

In recovery, we make peace with ourselves, then we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery, we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that?

A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn't put you down or call you derogatory names. He'll give you honest feedback and won't put on a false front. He'll support you when you're in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent.

Today, I will be a friend to my whole self - even the parts of me I have rejected.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

April 19

Making Room
for What Matters

I don't know about you, but my days usually fill up very easily without any effort at all on my part. The hours between waking and sleeping fly by. For years, I just went with the flow, let the days take me where they needed to, let the days roll into nights with me exhausted and feeling a little bit deprived, not having spent time doing the things that I really loved to do. Now, I try to be more intentional with my days.

These days, I try hard to make room for what really matters. I'll be honest: I do not always succeed. I'm a recovering workaholic, which means I have to try a lot harder than your average person not to work. But at least once, maybe twice a day, and sometimes even three, I do seriously attempt to make room for what matters. The things that matter to me change, and regardless of what those things are, making room for them may never come naturally. But I sure do feel better when I make it happen.

Try to make room for what matters to you today. Always remember: you matter to you.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

April 20

Avoiding self-pity

Our troubled lives and mixed-up emotions can easily draw pity from those who would help us. Sometimes we even exaggerate our history or current situation to get more pity. In the program we share our feelings to avoid self-pity because we know how destructive it can be.

When we say, "This too shall pass," for example, we are not giving our fellows the brush-off. Rather we are saying, "Don't wallow in self-pity; it's a killer. We've all experienced similar situations. Your Higher Power loves you and it will pass!"

Have I stopped pitying myself?

Higher Power, help me to remember that pity leads only to self-pity and that I want to change that pattern.

Today I will work on avoiding self-pity by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

April 21

God Steps In

I came in with only one bag. The personnel from the VA rehab facility took me shopping. I had holes in my bras. I had no clothes. I had nothing. I later became a secretary in volunteer services. I received awards and was voted in as president by the recovery group. I was like, What is this going on? There were just so many miracles happening in my life. And I was like, This is happening!

God just stepped in when I walked through that door. Somebody said that sometimes God reaches out right where you are, pulls you out of that area and pulls you into recovery. You never know where he's pulling you to.

You just know when you get there. That's where you belong. That is just what he did to me.

Today let me trust that when I let go and let God, I am carried to new heights.

~Karen A., U.S. Air National Guard, 1980–1991

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

April 22

Reflection for the Day

Our spiritual and emotional growth in recovery doesn't depend so deeply upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If we bear this in mind, a relapse can have the effect of kicking us upstairs, instead of down. People have no better teacher than Old Man Adversity, except in those cases where we refuse to let him teach us. Do I try to remain always teachable?
Today I Pray

May I respect recovery and its unending possibilities for spiritual and emotional growth, so that I can view a relapse as a learning experience, not "the end of the world." May relapse for any one of our fellowship serve to teach not only the person who has slipped, but all of us. May it strengthen our shared resolve.
Today I Will Remember

If you slip, get up.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

April 23

A crisis is an opportunity to rely on our Higher Power.

When we came to this program, we were told right away that a Higher Power is watching out for us and that we can look to that Power whenever we want guidance or peacefulness. Let's not resist this invitation.

Most of us had daily crises before turning to this program for help. Our attempts to control other people caused many of these crises. So did our reactions to the natural ebb and flow of human existence. Now we have to take the plunge and begin to rely on our God, however we understand God, to show us the way to handle every experience that's part of our Divine unfolding.

I will look to God today, and every experience will make sense in the whole of my existence.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

April 24

Religion and art spring from the same root and are close kin. Economics and art are strangers.

~Willa Cather

As adults, we have become more practical about meeting our economic needs and responsibilities. Perhaps we've gone so far in the process of learning to be fiscally responsible that we've become greedy or cynical. Some of us may have forgotten that there are things more sacred than monetary success.

Creativity, play, love, connection to a Higher Power, joy - all of these are among our needs. They are as important to our spirits as food and shelter are to our physical survival. If we've given up on our creative side because "it doesn’t pay" or because we're "not good enough to succeed," we may be denying the spirit within us the nourishment it yearns for. We must determine what success means to each of us; we need not be limited by others' definitions or goals. Creative expression is its own reward. It is the voice of our soul.

Today, I express my creativity in something I do, simply for its own sake.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

April 25

Letting Go of Anger

In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, it's an emotion we're all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, it's okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe…

Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. It's also a beneficial one if it's not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people.

Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, it's the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in.

And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesn't have to be justified. It usually can't be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle ourselves or our energy.

We don't have to feel guilty whenever we experience anger. We don't have to feel guilty. Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors.

I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

April 26

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its strength.

~A. J. Cronin

Many adult children are expert worriers. No topic is so small that we can't blow it up into something big. The merest hint of an ill wind can trip the hair-trigger mechanism that gets us going. It takes years to develop such a reflex. Originally, we may have legitimately worried that what we loved would be taken from us or never be given to us in the first place.

But worry can become a way of life - we may not know how to live any other way. In the grips of this delusion, we might assume that if we don't worry about something, it will happen for sure. As if worry had the power to ward off tragedy! We might as well wear garlic around our necks to repel evil spirits.

As opposed to cautious realism, chronic worry is indiscriminate and irrational. We don't worry about disasters because they're so likely to happen - we worry because that's what we know how to do. Worry doesn't prevent the loss of anything except our own peace of mind.

I recognize that habitual worry is a learned response from long ago. Today, I choose serenity.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

April 27

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

~Marlene Dietrich

A recovery friend once said, "There have been only two people in my life that I've called up at 4 a.m.: my mom, to get me out of jail, and my sponsor, to help keep me from drinking and ending up in jail."

Many of us may also remember calling up a recovery friend in the wee hours of the morning and hearing a calm, caring voice on the other end of the phone. Or we may have had the experience of having a recovery friend call us in the middle of the night and perhaps even spending the night on our couch.

We create safety for each other when we can't create it for ourselves. This is the nature of recovery. Having friends and fellowship that will be there for us whenever there is a need is a gift and a privilege. We should honor it well.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for the fellowship and for friends who will be there for me during the best of times and especially during the worst of times.
Today's Action

I will take time and think about which of my recovery friends have helped me the most. I will call and thank them for their care and kindness.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

April 28

In the important decisions, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.

~Sigmund Freud

We make decisions all the time, and every one, large or small, changes us. Since change is frightening, making a decision can be frightening, too. We can make the process easier by asking ourselves the right questions: "Do I really want to do this? Will it benefit my life? Is it realistic?" Such questions help us know our true feelings, which are the most important part of any decision.

Wrong decisions are often made by focusing on external things: "If I do this, it will please my partner. I'm doing it because I want excitement and intrigue. I'm in it for the money. I want the power and status. Maybe I'm running away from something I don't want to face - but so what?"

As addicts, it is important for us to avoid impulsivity and all-or-nothing thinking. We can take our time and talk our feelings through with our friends or our group, trying to see the bigger picture. If we are still unsure of the right thing to do, we can ask for our Higher Power's help, decide, and then trust the outcome.

The only wrong decision is one made for the wrong reasons.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

April 29

Lessons from Pain

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.

~Anonymous

Today we are living free from compulsions and addictions, but that happiness won't ever let us forget the times we cried from pain. We went through a lot of suffering in order to surrender. All that suffering wouldn't matter if we hadn't become willing to make a spiritual change. We learned valuable lessons from the pain.

In recovery, we learn that pain changes our lives. We gain an understanding of honest values from our suffering. Until we stopped hurting, we couldn't make progress toward a richer life and appreciate the gift of love and service.

I have learned that happiness is getting away from suffering. Even to crave happiness is painful. Finding happiness helps me get rid of pain and find peace of mind.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

April 30

The life of the spirit is centrally and essentially a life of action. Spirituality is something done, not merely something believed or known or experienced.

~Mary McDermott Shideler

We often think of a spiritual life as a life of contemplation, of distancing ourselves from the rest of the world. Actually, spirituality is action. We can include spirituality in our day-to-day routines whenever we want. We can transform mundane activities into links to our Creator merely by offering a silent prayer.

As we open an envelope or listen to a sales presentation, we can think of the power and the love we are receiving this moment from God. As we hear the ring of a phone or have the day's first cup of coffee - any number of ordinary things - we can remember that we are here by the grace of God. When we extend a helping hand, we're saying thanks to God. A smile, a kind word, a hug - all are everyday spiritual acts.

I can take spiritual action in ordinary living.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*