More Recovery Readings - October

[bluidkiti]

October 21

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves. --Queen Victoria
Isn't that always the way? We cope with major events, like births and weddings, fairly well. It is the little things--so inconsequential in the long run--that upset us. If the kids don't pick up their rooms, or dinner is late, or we can't go to the movies because we haven't done our homework, we become irritated and annoyed. Minor things like these upset us much more than they should.
Are they really so important? A messy room is not a terminal illness. A late dinner won't affect our health unless we get so upset about it we make ourselves sick. We'll survive.
If we think back to the last time we were angry or upset, does it seem important now? We probably can't even remember why we reacted that way. How much better life is when we let go of the little irritations.
What irritation can I let go of today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
No man can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself. --James Russell Lowell
We are in the business of producing miracles. The renewal of life in us and others in this program is a great event and happens only after we establish an honest relationship with ourselves. No longer can we excuse our minimizing and little white lies that push aside the truth. No longer can we deny our private fears and self doubts. In our growing sincerity with ourselves, we can admit our weaknesses. Some of us feel inadequate at our work, many of us have feelings that we aren't masculine enough, and many of us feel tempted to return to old destructive behaviors.
In this program we have a renewal based on truth. We build upon solid reality rather than upon fiction. Denying the truth to ourselves always made us weaker and sicker than the facts themselves ever could. Viewing the facts from a new position of acceptance shows they aren't nearly as bad as we thought. Our sincerity with ourselves becomes a solid footing for growth.
My strength today is based upon a sincere relationship with myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The strength of the drive determines the force required to suppress it. --Mary Jane Sherfey
We are all struggling to succeed. And each day of our lives we'll be confronted with major or minor adversities that might well interfere with our success. Adversities don't have to hinder us, however. They can strengthen us, if we incorporate them as opportunities for growth.
For many of us, the ability to handle adversity is a fairly recent phenomenon. And not always can we do it securely and with ease. But we are coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves is at hand and will guarantee us all the strength we'll ever need. Knowing that action is always possible, that passive acceptance of any condition need never be necessary are unconditional gifts of living the Twelve Step program.
Our path forward is as certain as our commitment to it, our belief in the strength of the program, and our faith that all is well even when times are troubled. No one ever promised that our new way of life would be always easy. But we have been promised that we'll arrive at our proper destination if we do the footwork and let God do the navigating.
Success is at hand. I will apply what I'm learning, and I'll meet it.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Financial Responsibility
"When I began recovery from chemical dependency, I had to face my money mess stone cold sober, and I really had a mess," said one woman.
"I wasn't able to earn much at first, and it was important to me to make amends. I had past due bills from years before. I needed to try to stay current with my new bills. I had a lot more money before I sobered up. But in time, slowly, gradually, my financial situation cleared up. I restored my credit. I had a checking account. I had a little money in the bank.
"Then I married an alcoholic and began to learn about my codependency - the hard way. I lost myself, my feelings, my sanity, and all the progress I had made with my financial affairs. My husband and I opened a checking account together, and he over drafted checks until I lost the right to have a checking account. I let him charge and charge on my credit card, and he drove that into the ground.
"We borrowed and borrowed to keep our sinking ship afloat - and we borrowed a lot from my parents," she said. "By the time I began my recovery from codependency, I was again facing a real financial mess. I was furious, but it didn't matter who did what. I had some serious financial matters to face if that part of my life was ever going to become manageable again.
"Slowly - very slowly - I began to work out of my mess. It seemed impossible! I didn't even want to face it, it felt so overwhelming and hopeless. But I did. And each day I did the best I could to be responsible for myself.
"One decision I made was to separate and protect myself financially from my husband, the best I could, before and after we divorced. The other decision I made was to face and begin reconstructing the financial affairs in my life.
"It was difficult. We owed over fifty thousand dollars, and my ability to produce income had dramatically decreased. I was grieving; my self-esteem was at an all time low; my energy was low. I did not know how I would ever untangle this nightmare. But it did happen. Slowly, gradually, with the help of a Higher Power, manageability crept in and replaces chaos.
"I began by not spending more than I earned. I paid back some creditors, a little at a time. I let go of what I couldn't do, and focused on what I could do.
"Now, eight years have passed. I am debt free, which I never imagined possible. I am living comfortably, with money in the bank. My credit has been restored, again. And I intend to keep it that way.
"I am not willing to lose my financial sanity and security again, ever, for love or for alcoholism. With the help of God and the Twelve Steps, I won't have to."
One day at a time, we can be restored in recovery - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. It may get worse before it gets better - because we are finally facing reality instead of dodging it. But once we make the decision to take financial responsibility for ourselves, we are on our way.
God, help me remember that what seems hopeless today can often be solved tomorrow, even if I can't see the solution. If I have allowed the problems of others to hurt me financially, help me repair and restore my boundaries around money - and what I am willing to lose. Help me understand that I do not have to allow anyone else's financial irresponsibility, addiction, disease, or problem to hurt me financially. Help me go on with my life in spite of my present financial circumstances, trusting that if I am willing to make amends and be responsible, things will work out.


Today I know that I am not alone. Today I know that God guides me in all situations and all I have to do to get help is to ask for it. --Ruth Fishel God help me to stay sober and clean today!

*****

Journey to the Heart
Learn to Nurture and Be Nurtured

It was a quiet morning. I was holed up in a hotel room at the mouth of Bryce Canyon, working on this book. Working on my life. I stayed in bed for a while-- thinking, pondering, wondering. Finally I got up, went to the restaurant for coffee and a roll, then went for a drive. Soak up nature, I told myself. This journey is a living meditation.

I drove into Bryce Canyon Park, letting the massive stones, the colors and spirals, the eternity of the canyon touch me, heal me, soothe my soul. An hour later, when I felt calmer and more energized, I got back in the car and headed for the park exit. Several cars were jammed up. I wondered if there had been an accident. Then I saw why the others had stopped. A mother deer was standing on the side of the road, gently nuzzling her fawn. She stood by her off-spring's side, protecting and nurturing.

Many of us barely remember a mother's nurturing love; some of us do, with fondness and joy. Many of us have experienced the great gift of nurturing and loving our children, a joy that opens the heart in a way little else can. Some of us have learned to give and receive nurturing in other ways, to people outside our immediate families. But most of us, along the way, have learned the gift, the wonder, the awe, and the healing blessings of nurturing. Giving and reveiving is a continuous cycle, a necessary part of the road to the heart.

Learn to nurture others. Nurture and love yourself. The whole universe will rally round and help. Others will applaud your efforts and learn from them, the way the passersby stopped to gaze on the deer and her fawn.

Celebrate the power of nurturing. Release its gentle love. It rests inside each of us, waiting to be seen, appreciated, and brought to life.

*****

more language of letting go
Cultivate awareness

Often the words "consciousness" and "awareness" are used interchangebly. ... Consciousness is the pulsing vibration that is the essence of all things. Awareness is the individuating "I AM" in each of us. Wherever I am, my awareness is also. When I move, my awareness goes with me. When I focus my awareness on something, I perceive that thing. Through my physical sensory organs I am aware of sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touch. Through higher sensory perception I am aware of much more.
--Enid Hoffman

Use all your senses, whether you are visualizing the future or sinking into a joyful awareness of where you are right now. Don't just look at the flower-- touch it. Smell it. Feel it.

Don't just gaze at the people in your life. Hear them. Feel their power and presence.

Slow down. Don't move so fast. You'll miss important things. Cultivate awareness. Bring your senses, all of them, into the heart of your life.

Awareness isn't about looking. It's about seeing with more than our eyes. Often when we look for a thing, whether it's a home or a girlfriend, all we can see is our projections-- our hopes, fears, past, and desires.

Relax. Stop projecting yourself onto the world. Let go of judgements. Let things and people be what and who they are.

Cultivate awareness by using all your senses.

Learn to see what is.

God, help me slow down and become aware.

*****

The Joyful Flow
Good Vibrations

Feelings vibrate, just as all things in the universe do, at a particular frequency. Negative feelings like anger, guilt, and depression vibrate at low frequencies, while positive feelings like joy, appreciation, and passion vibrate at high frequencies. These high frequency vibrations make us feel good. This is why people and places that inspire and cultivate positive feelings have what we call good vibrations.

Good vibrations inspire health, happiness, and optimism. When we are tuned in to good vibrations, our bodies heal, our hearts open, and our minds shift toward the light. We see new possibilities and feel powerfully energized to follow our inner visions. At the same time, we feel relaxed and capable of manifesting these visions without giving in to stress or struggle. Good vibrations put us in a state of perfect receptivity so that we feel it is the energy flowing through us that accomplishes what needs to be done. We feel guided, supported, protected, and nourished within this joyful flow. We sometimes forget that we are allowed to feel this way all the time.

Lower frequency vibrations are not bad in a moral sense, but they are bad in the sense that they simply don’t feel good. Still, they have a purpose, which is to alert us to the fact that we are blocking out the higher frequency vibrations that we need to function well. They are a call for healing ourselves from within. The key to our healing lies in remembering that it is our birthright to feel good and that feeling good is the essence of our true nature. When we are receiving and sending out good vibrations, we are in the flow. When we are not, we can begin to raise our vibration by seeking out people, places, and situations that vibrate at a higher frequency. Whether we need to go on retreat or just call a friend who makes us laugh, seeking out those good vibrations and basking in them is a sacred and loving practice that returns us, time and again, to the joyful flow of the universe. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

A Day at a Time
October 21

Reflection for the Day
There's a world of difference between the idea of self-love and love of self. Self-love is a reflection of an inflated ego, around which - in our distorted view of our own self-importance - everything must revolve. Self-love is the breeding ground for hostility, arrogance and a host of other character defects which blind us to any point of view but our own. Love of self, in contrast, is an appreciation of our dignity and value as human beings. Love of self is an expression of self-realization, from which springs humility.

Do I believe that I can love others best when I have gained love of self?

Today I Pray
May God, who loves me, teach me to love myself. May I notice that the most arrogant and officious humans are not so completely sure of themselves, after all. Instead, they are apt to have a painfully low self-image, an insecurity which they cloak in pomp and princely trappings. May God show me that when I can like myself, I am duly crediting Him, since every living thing is a work of God.

Today I Will Remember
I will try to like myself.

*****

One More Day

Business runs after nobody; people cling to it of their own free will and think that to be busy is proof of happiness. --Lucius Annacus Seneca

Sometimes we need to keep busy just to fill time. After a loss or health change, we may have great amounts of time to fill. We may turn to busy work --- work having no significance but marking time as we move toward yet another adjustment. Tool-shop organizing, closet cleaning, and other tasks might be ploys we need, emotionally, to perform in rote fashion.
When we are adjusting, we may need to be busy ---- to think, to decide on new plans of action, and to move forward. We won't need busy work, and we'll be able to make gains again. As we make our adjustments, very, very, slowly, the purpose of our lives will return.

I will put effort into my days to find meaning. It may be difficult to stay busy, but I can do it.