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Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please.

 
 
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Old 05-22-2017, 11:05 AM   #11
bluidkiti
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A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.
The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."

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Two rules for life:

1. Don't tell people everything you know.
2.



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In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights ...dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant.
Approaching his room one afternoon, the Resident Assistant noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought: Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with that old gag! It was then he realized that "those crazy guys" had removed the drainpipe beneath his sink.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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