[bluidkiti]

"The Alcoholic's Problem"

"Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self, which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making". ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62~

Selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of our problems. Wow! Selfishness is a noun that simply means: Stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others. Fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, all things that stem from imagination drive this concern. We are acting from the imaginary. The self!

But what is a self? Here?s the kicker, the self is one's consciousness of one's own being or identity; the ego. It is what you believe you are. So when you imagine something that the self should be doing, you do it without regards of what that action is going to do in effecting other's being. That?s what selfishness and self-centeredness is!

The problem is there are a bunch of selves out there. So what we have is a bunch of unconscious goobily gook happening. In some of the studies I have read, it has been called electromechanical smog. This smog is caused by people doing stuff that doesn't jive with reality. That is why when you read in the above passage from the Big Book that our selfishness and self-centeredness is driven by self-delusion that it starts to make sense. If we are doing stuff that doesn't jive with reality, then it is false.

What really complicates all of this is we create reality with all of this non-sense. Being that we are creating this reality with no regards with what it is doing to others, it causes turmoil. Turmoil is extreme confusion and/or agitation. We get everything all stirred up. This is what causes this smog, our imagination.

In Bill's story he writes: "I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, could place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance". This is very important to understand. It is from this fantasy (fancy) and imagination that the alcoholic problem stems.

Where is it that we feel hurt when we believe someone has wronged us? Doesn't this come from the mind? In our fantasy we believe that what we are doing is what reality is. When in fact reality is happening all around us. We are just unconscious of it. We seem to be in our own little world, doing things that only involve what we believe will benefit our "selves". Meanwhile we a making other people suffer. If they are acting like us, then it just adds to the chaos. Are we really hurt, or are we just getting paybacks for what we are doing to others?

So you may ask where does the drinking fit in? Well it is as a direct result of the feeling that we get from the alcohol or drugs that causes us to only think about pleasure. What is going to please the self? It is when we take these things to the extreme that the problem exists.

Take a look at all of anonymous programs today and see where it is that this premise of pleasure fits in. Sex, gambling, alcohol, drugs, overeating, and a plethora of other things that are done for pleasure and get out of hand. All because we believe our self should be in constant pleasure. We do these things to feed our fantasy, and forget that there is a whole big universe beyond our own little needs.

What is reality? To be real is to exist in truth and actuality, not imagination. I'm not making this up! That is the actual definition of reality! So what we bring forth from our imagination is not true and actual until we create it. If we create turmoil by imagining self-based thought, that is what becomes our reality. Our reality is a bunch of non-sense. It is a bunch of confused thought.

So how is it that we remedy this? Again we go to the Big Book and find: "This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom". "How It Works" pg. 62

If we focus our attention on what God's will is for us, rather on self-will, it brings us back to clarity. That is why it works really well when we help each other with problems. It seems to me that is what God's will is for each and every one of us. Living in harmonious action with not only other human beings, but all of God's creations.
--Ed C.