Welcome Gingerlee, so glad you made the decision to join us. Recovery for me is not picking up that first drink no matter what. In today, I have the tools to help me not pick up. Had had two thoughts when I read your post, "Pray for the willingness to be willing to not pick up. Ask for the obsession to be removed from you. It may be because you are in a foreign country that you only go to 2 meetings a week. That was not enough for me, my God put people in my life to show me a new way of living in sobriety.
There is a lot of recovery material here, hopefully some of it can help you, but you just can't beat the energy at a meeting and a f2f hug.
(((Gingerlee)))