[bluidkiti]

April 2

Step by Step

Today, I will not carry the pattern of compulsive and habitual behavior I perfected in my drinking days to other areas of my life. As a drinking alcoholic, I established the pattern of feeling and taking everything to an unhealthy and inappropriate extreme – all or nothing. That pattern is not necessarily in remission simply because my active alcoholism is. To shift the habitual and compulsive nature of my drinking to work, play, service or any other activity can be almost as self-defeating. And it is through the steps of character rehabilitation that I need to tame unhealthy behavioral patterns. Today, I will seek a balance between giving everything, taking all and retaining what I need for myself by seeking the guidance of my higher power and reciting the program’s mottoes: “A Day at a Time,” “First Things First,” “Keep It Simple” and “Easy Does It.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEDICATION

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.

~ Anonymous ~

The best thing for us to do in our 12 Step Program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.

We can’t think for others, and they can’t think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, “Take what you need and leave the rest.”

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won’t be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people’s ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can’t be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.

Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.

~ Italian proverb ~

We may feel that we are less than other men, or greater than someone else, but in the big picture we are all created equal. In our low self-esteem, we may feel less worthy than the next guy. Some of us have built defenses against our shame and guilt by thinking we are superior, but that is still the flip side of the shame coin. No matter what we have done, no matter what has happened to us, no matter what anyone else says, our behavior and our experiences are not the same as who we are.

The way to step out of the shame and blame problem with our self-esteem is to accept our humility. The word humility has the same root as human and humus. We all are of the earth. Humility is in contrast with humiliation, however. Humility helps us outgrow our self-absorption and see our connection with all people. In recovery, no matter what our social status is, we all deal with addiction and codependency. Our humility shows us how to be respectful of everyone, including ourselves.

Today I accept my humility and equality with all other people.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

~ Muriel Rukeyser ~

Our stories give the universe depth, vibrancy, color, meaning. Yet we often forget our value to this planet, and we ignore the stirrings around and within us.

Most of us didn’t grow up feeling appreciated. Our value to our family or to the universe was seldom celebrated. We just existed, and we did what we had to do with little understanding of how we fit into the big picture of the universe.

We’re learning now that our stories, our presence, have always been necessary to the life of the universe. This gives us reason to pause and feel special. We may have been unaware of the life force around us, but we’ve always participated in the unfolding universe.

I am special, and my life, my story, is a necessary part of the universe. That I am here by design means I am watched over.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I let in faith when I let go

It has taken quite a while, but I can now admit that there is a power greater than myself – my dual disorder of addiction and psychiatric illness. I tried to overcome this disability as best I could with the tools I had, but I could not. Now, instead of fighting my illnesses as I did for so long, I am working on accepting them.

And in the process of accepting my illnesses, I have discovered an even greater power – my higher power. By taking Step One and admitting that I cannot recover on my own, I leave the door open to receive help. I have faith that my higher power will give me the help, the tools, I need.

Today, I will pray the Serenity Prayer and practice accepting one person or thing I would otherwise want to change.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The mind can’t soar if the body’s been grounded for repair.

~ Dale E. ~

When we were young, we could stay up late at night often with no major problems. In active addiction, we could stay out all night and still function the next day, though usually not as well as we could fimc- tion sober.

Now, though, most of us need a good night’s sleep on a regular basis. As we grow and age, we lose the ability to bounce back after little or no sleep. Also, like any other people recovering from a life- threatening illness, we need even more sleep than usual, at least in the early stages of recovery.

Getting a good night’s sleep regularly doesn’t make us boring people. To the contrary, it makes us alert and well-rested so we can get the most out of the next day.

We honor our bodies when we pay attention to our physical needs. When we are well-rested, we feel better about ourselves. Recovery is a lifelong journey. It doesn’t just take place during the day, when we’re awake. A good night’s sleep, a nap when we’re tired during the day, or just a few moments of peace or quiet time taken from a busy schedule, are often the best things we can do for ourselves. This is one way we can take healthy control of our lives.

Today let me get the rest that I need.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

An ice-packing plant in Chicago burned down years ago. This building had all the material inside capable of extinguishing the fire, but it was in unavailable form; it was frozen.

~ Allen Unruh ~

Experiencing any form of loss—of a job, a habit, a loved one, health, financial stability, and more—can be traumatic. But how you react to the trauma determines how long you will feel its effects. When you deny or suppress painful feelings, you keep the misery deep within you. In essence, you freeze your emotions, but you also freeze that moment. So when you suppress sadness rather than openly grieve, you may experience emotions from the loss for a longer period of time.

You may justify emotional freezing because you feel you need to be strong for others or because you think you will not be able to handle those feelings. But emotional pain is normal to feel with any loss. The more deeply you care, the more profoundly the loss will affect you.

First acknowledge that it does hurt like hell to lose someone you love or something you treasured. It is healthy to admit you cared so much. Then, you must grieve. You need to let your tears flow and allow yourself to feel.

I respond to the pain of my loss in a healthy way—by expressing, not suppressing, my grief.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

A well timed silence is more eloquent than words.

~ Our Daily Bread ~

How do we handle ourselves when someone is yelling for things we consider inconsequential? Do we turn away from words delivered in anger or sarcasm? Do we go to another room or leave the scene?

Many of us find it easy to feed into arguments generated by another. Our buttons can easily be pushed by others, and they know it. They expect us to react, screaming at them in anger or crying or defending ourselves. When we’re not in the heat of the situation, it’s easy to say we’ll make changes. But once the scene has started again, our best-laid plans are forgotten.

We can strengthen this change in behavior by learning the power of silence. Responding to a harmful comment with silence, turning away from another’s ire without a word, or walking quietly away from one who is on a tirade can be quite effective. Instead of adding more fuel to an already raging fire, we can cool ourselves off by walking away from the heat without comment. Silence can truly speak louder than words.

I can practice silence in the face of anger or outrage. I can turn away from an unhealthy situation.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding competition

In our using days, we needed to know who had what job, what house, what car, who made more money, and so on. Yet learning to turn our lives over to God is not a spiritual contest.

Our spiritual quest should be to carry out God’s will for us. It should not be to spiritually outdo others. God knows our capabilities and gives us a place that we can suitably fill.

Have I stopped competing?

May I stop competing and leave the measurement of this day to my Higher Power.

I will avoid competing today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

To be alive at all is to have scars.

~ JOHN STEINBECK ~

Newcomer

At a recent meeting, I heard someone sharing as if she’d solved every problem she’d ever had. She was smiling the whole time she spoke, talking about how great everything is. I don’t know why, but I felt angry afterward. She sounded so glib and self-satisfied and know-it-all. If that’s recovery, I don’t know if I want it.

Sponsor

I can identify with your anger. I, too, sometimes find it irritating to hear someone chattering about his or her happiness and success, especially when my own life seems to be full of messy problems. But it may not be the contrast between her situation and your own that got you upset. Perhaps you intuited that she may not, in fact, “have it all together.” Few humans do. I love hearing people talk about the ways this program has helped them, but recovery doesn’t make us perfect.

It won’t help my own recovery if I judge the quality of someone else’s. I know, though, that when I hear people sharing at meetings, I’m drawn far more deeply to some sharing than to others. Oddly enough, I sometimes get more spiritual sustenance from hearing someone who is having to cope with immense difficulties than from someone who appears to have none at all.

Recovery doesn’t require perfection. In fact, perfection isn’t possible.

Today, I have unconditional love for myself, whatever my scars or difficulties.
I extend this unconditional love to all those around me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Reduced to its simplest form, the only true worship is to love God, and the only way to demonstrate this love is to serve your fellow man.

We in AA show the extent of our moral growth in the extent of our service to others. It is the only true spiritual experience. The flash of light that some of us experience could be only the first ray of intelligence that finally penetrated the alcoholic fog and dazzled our minds.

The true spiritual experience is evidenced by a passion to do those things which delight the spirit. By their works shall ye know them.

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~ POCKET SPONSOR ~ (Back to the Basics for Addiction Recovery) ~

As our addiction struggles to maintain its power over us, it presents many false claims trying to pull us back into the mire of destruction. When you are in a meeting, your disease is in the parking lot doing push-ups.

My fear is not a fact. My FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Second Step Prayer

I pray for an open mind so I may come to believe in a Power greater than myself. I pray for humility and the continued opportunity to increase my faith. I don’t want to be crazy any more.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

INSUFFICIENCY OF KNOWLEDGE

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

Most people, and learned people especially, have all kinds of knowledge that
does not in the least affect or improve their practical lives. Doctors know all
about hygiene, but often live in an unhealthy accumulated wisdom of the ages,
and assent to most of it, continue to do foolish and stupid things in their own
personal lives. Now, knowledge such as this is only opinion, or head
knowledge, as some people call it. It has to become heart knowledge, or to be
incorporated into the subconscious, before it can really change one. The modern
psychologists in their efforts to “re-educate the subconscious” have the right
idea, though they have not yet discovered the true method of doing so, which is
by single-minded prayer, or the Practice of the Presence of God.

Jesus, of course, thoroughly understood all this, and that is why he stresses
the fact that we have to be pure in heart.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Man Who Planted Trees

In a gentle way you can shake the world.

~ Gandhi ~

I saw an extraordinary film about the life of Elzeard Bouffier, a humble shepherd who turned a wilderness into a lush forest. In a lifetime spanning two World Wars, while madmen killed each other for worldly power, this individual quietly and anonymously brought his world back to life, planting one acorn at a time. He not only created natural beauty, but contributed to healing an entire town that had fallen into despair—one man, working gently, living day to day, seeding love wherever he went.

Each of us has a forest we can plant to bring our world back to life. Our trees may not be spruces; they may be children, songs, art, ideas, massage, repairs, writing, or any other gift that comes to us and through us.

What impressed me most about Elzeard Bouffier was the humility with which he conducted his forestry ministry. He was silent most of the time, he did not seek acknowledgment and never asked anyone to follow him. He simply knew what he had to do and went about the business of doing it.

I met Scott and Helen Nearing, the famous couple who initiated the back-to-the-land movement in the 1930s. Although the Nearings had well-paying jobs and comfortable city lives, they moved to the mountains of Vermont, grew organic food, heated with wood, and nurtured their land. At the time, they were laughed at and criticized. Now they are considered pioneers and virtual saints. I asked Helen, “How do you feel now that so many are doing what you began?”

“It’s wonderful,” Helen answered, “but that’s not why we did it. We did what we had to because it was right for us. If no one else ever followed, it would have been just as right.”

What is your forest? How can you bring your world back to life? Begin today, one acorn at a time.

I pray to restore my world with color and beauty;

I bring my world to life.