[bluidkiti]

August 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains. --Anne Frank
We don't find the rewards of today by searching through our misfortunes. Pausing to seek out something good for everything we find bad is a step in the right direction. We may find the good outweighs the bad.
But how much more chance we will have of living a happy day if we skip over our setbacks and concentrate as much as we can on what is going well. It is smarter to look for diamonds in a diamond mine than in a garbage dump.
Let us discard our failures, using only what we have learned from them to achieve success. Looking back at missed opportunities will make it impossible for us to recognize new chances to enjoy life to the fullest. Looking only for beauty is a beautiful thing in itself.
What beauty can I see around me right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is a terrible, an inexorable law that one cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one's own: in the face of one's victim, one sees oneself. --James Baldwin
Acting totally in our self-interest is shortsighted and foolishly simple. Attacking another person or another nation reflects upon us like a mirror. When any person is undermined, the human race is diminished in some measure. And humanity is our family.
Sometimes we see a reflection of ourselves in someone else and fail to recognize it. What we hate most in another may well be what we hate in ourselves. Knowing this can be useful. Perhaps our teeth are set on edge when we think about an ex wife, or father, or former friend, or a religious or racial group. How are we like that person or group? What do they cause us to face within ourselves? When we stop diminishing the other person we may still not like him or her, but we can come to terms with ourselves. We learn to live and let live.
God, help me engage in the brotherhood of my own family and with all people - and to see my own face, even in my enemy.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When a woman has love, she is no longer at the mercy of forces greater than herself, for she, herself, becomes the powerful force. --Veronica Casey
The need for love is universal. Each of us longs for the affirmation that assures us we are needed, appreciated, desired. We are strengthened by the strokes others give us, and when no strokes are forthcoming, we sometimes falter.
With emotional and spiritual maturity comes the understanding that we are loved, unconditionally, by God. And the awareness of that love, the realization of its abiding presence, will buoy us up when no other love signals to us. Most of us still lose our connection to the omnipresent God, however. Thus, our buoyancy is tentative.
Until that time when we are certain about our value, about the presence of God's love, we'll need to practice self-affirmation. But learning how to nurture ourselves, how to be gentle and caressing to the woman within, may be painstaking. Patience will ease the process. Unconditionally loving ourselves will become natural in time. In fact, we'll sense our inner person growing, changing. Our wholeness will become apparent to others as well as to ourselves.
Love breeds love. I will shower it upon others and myself and relish the growing sense of self that emerges.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Directness
Direct people are a joy to be around.
We never have to guess what they're really thinking or feeling, because they're honest about their thoughts and openly express their feelings.
We never have to wonder if they're with us because they want to be, or if they're there out of guilt and obligation.
When they do something for us, we don't have to worry whether they'll end up resenting us because direct people generally do things that please themselves.
We don't have to fuss about the status of our relationship because if we ask, they'll tell us.
We don't have to worry if they're angry because they deal openly with their anger and resolve it quickly.
We don't have to ponder whether they are talking about us behind our backs because if they have something to say, it will be said to us directly.
We don't have to wonder if we can rely on them because direct people are trustworthy.
Wouldn't it be nice if we were all direct?
Today, I will let go of my notions that it is somehow good or desirable to be indirect. Instead, I will strive for honesty, directness, and clarity in my communication. I will let directness in my relationships begin with me.

*****

Journey to the Heart
Practice Forgiveness

He was an old man, sitting on a corner bench. "I don't know why we just keep on forgiving our brothers and sisters," he said, looking at the people walking by. "I suppose it's because when we do, we really forgive ourselves."

Is there someone we're judging, censuring? If we look more closely we'll see that when we blame others, we're chastising ourselves as well. If we're honest, really honest, we can see that often what upsets us is something similar to what we ourselves do. Other people can be mirrors of our own behavior.

Yes, there are times when another person does something absolutely outrageous. And we can stand there, hands no hips, saying, I've been wronged. I can't understand how anyone could behave that way. But often, if we're honest, we really can understand-- we have behaved that way,too.

Practice forgiveness. Judgement without forgiveness causes us to feel isolated, and apart, causes us to judge ourselves in the same way. Discover how much better you feel when you forgive others. Find out how much better you feel when you forgive yourself.

*****

more language of letting go
Be grateful for where you've been

Earlier in this book, I suggested that you write your memoirs. Even if you don't sit down to do that, I'm going to suggest that you review your life.

Reading my mother's memoirs was a profound experience, one that touched my heart and brought compassion into it in a way I hadn't been able to experience from all my family-of-origin work. As a child, I'd shut down when my mother would talk about her experiences. I'd turn off my listening device. It sounded like grumbling and complaining to me. I didn't want to hear about her pain.

But when I read about her life in story form, I experienced a different response. I was able to read it objectively, not as her daughter or a person feeling guilty because I wished she hadn't had all the pain she did. I saw how directly her experiences had created and shaped who she was. I saw the desires of her heart. I saw her tragedies, her broken dreams. I saw her heroism,too.

My snippy little reactions-- the irritating mother-daughter stuff-- vanished in this new light. She was no longer a mother who had issues. She was a human being nobly living her life. Like the rest of us, she had her frailties, her vulnerable areas, and her strong points.

The point here isn't for you to read about my mother. It's for you to take a new look at your life and all the experiences you've been through, endured, survived, and then transcended. When I wrote my life story, I resisted at first. I hadn't enjoyed it that much going through it. I didn't want to relive all those experiences.

But something happened in the actual writing. It was similar to what happened when I read my mother's account of her life. I began to see myself and what I'd been through differently, in a new, more compassionate light.

Each experience, each decade, each chapter in the book taught me something valuable. From each experience I'd been through, I reclaimed or discovered new insight and power. Maybe much of what I had preferred to forget or turn my back on wasn't the wasted life I thought it was.

What a beautiful story each one of us has. Whether your experiences ever make it into a book, it's still your book of life. Are you grateful for each chapter you've lived? Are you grateful for each experience you've had? Are you grateful for the story you're living now?

The good news is, the story of our lives hasn't ended yet.

There's still more to come.

Touch the experience of being human in all of its sorrow and joy.

Be grateful for the story you're living now.

God, help me laugh, cry, love, be aware, and be thankful with all my heart for every moment and each experience that I've been given. Thank you for my life.

*****

Set Yourself Free
Letting Go of Perfection

Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Quiet minds can not be perplexed or frightened,” wrote Robert Louis Stevenson, “but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.”

In The Program, we hear many warnings against harboring resentments, and rare is the person who doesn’t occasionally yield to resentment when he feels wronged. We must remember that we have no room for resentment in our new way of life. Rather than exhausting myself by fighting resentment with grim determination, I can reason it out of existence by uncovering its cause with a quiet mind. Will I try to believe that the best antidote for resentment is the continual expression of gratitude?

Today I Pray

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise God for our human sensitivity which, although it can feel the smallest, pin-prick hurts, can also feel the warmth of a smile, Praise God for our human insight which can peel the wraps from our resentments and expose them for what they are.

Today I Will Remember

I am grateful for feelings.

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One More Day

Life is so full of miseries, minor and major….. – Agnes Repplier

Occasionally a person who has chronic pain spends far too much time on a quest to cure or solve the pain. Support groups become much more than an extension of helpful purpose; they can become our total purpose. All the day can be filled with seeking the “right” people to solve our problems. All semblance of a well-balanced life gets pushed away.

There’s no reason to make our days miserable with unrealistic goals. Learning to live the best we can with the pain and inconvenience of illness is the only way to make minor miseries out of major ones.

I can keep myself emotionally whole by seeking balance in my life.

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Food For Thought

The Beacon

There are times when we get tired and depressed or elated and confused. We are mentally uncomfortable, knowing that something is wrong but unable to pinpoint the trouble. Our first thought may be to reach for food, but we know that way leads to disaster.

We compulsive overeaters have a beacon light for our dark and confused moments. It is our commitment to abstinence. No matter how confused we may be, we can remember that abstinence is the most important thing in our life without exception. Whatever happens, we will not be lost if we hold fast to our abstinence. From the commitment, everything else follows. As long as we do not overeat, we will be able to find our way out of a difficult situation.

Our Higher Power gives us the beacon light of abstinence, and with it He gives guidance out of our perplexities. Patiently waiting until we clearly see His will keeps us from getting lost in the darkness of self-will.

Thank You for the beacon light of abstinence.