[yukonm]

July 6

SUFFERING

“The desire to stop suffering
is not the same thing as the desire to stop the behavior
we are doing which causes us to suffer.”
Dr. James Golden


Our disease of addiction causes tremendous suffering to ourselves and to those around us. It consumes our lives and often leads to painful losses. No matter how profoundly we long to be rid of our disease, recovery is not something that falls into our laps just because we want it. We don’t magically stop being compulsive eaters just because that’s our desire. It would be great if recovery happened magically and all we’d have to do is say, "I don't want this disease any more; I don’t want to suffer any longer." If it were that easy, we'd immediately find ourselves in a place of complete and total recovery. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

In the depths of my disease I cried out to the God of my understanding to help me achieve abstinence and an alleviation of my suffering. What was the answer to my prayers? This wonderful Twelve Step program.

One of the first things I learned was that I could wish and hope and pray, but until I put feet to my prayers and actually started working the Steps, I wouldn’t recover from my disease. God will only do for us what He can do through us. If I’m not willing to do even a little bit of the work, I shouldn’t expect recovery. If I won’t take the first step on this journey, I can’t expect to reach my final destination. I can do some things for myself -- like putting the Steps into practice -- but what about the things I can’t do for myself? I’ll let God handle those.

One day at a time...
I’ll remember that it’s not enough
to want to stop suffering from my disease;
I also need to do some footwork to make it happen.


~ Jeff