Self-Pity/Self-Forgetting
Grief isn't a short process that you can do and get it over with. It has many stages.
http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-...-of-grief.html
Self pity can be very isolating in and of itself. I remember hearing this phrase "Get off the cross, we need the wood" and thinking, "How sacrilegious!"
We need to acknowledge our feelings and allow ourselves to feel in order to be able to let go. It isn't just the death of a loved one, it also happens when there is change in our life and we don't recognize the symptoms because we don't recognize them as something that you THINK you should be grieving over. i.e. A change in job, a new home, a friend moves away, a favourite TV show cancelled, and the list goes on and on. Life on life's terms, many times I found things that I had to drink over and so many times, I drank to someone else's life without thought of my own, or because it was all about me, me, me, what about me.
I found the phrase, "What would Jesus do?" helpful in coming to a decision. It is always better to get out of self and help someone else.