Thank you for sharing. Been there, done it wore the T-shirt. You can't be an AA sponsor, if they don't want to work any kind of program. One wouldn't go to meetings, a couple wouldn't do any step work, one got pregnant and clean to take a break, when her child was a year or so, she would relapse and go back out, and come back in and get pregnant again. She had 4 children and didn't live to have her 5th.
I too went to my sponsor because I felt like I had failed as a sponsor and should have done more. I had a girl call me her sponsor, would come to the meeting in the morning, cross the street and go the the bar at noon and introduce me to everyone as her sponsor. I know I helped these women, but more importantly, they helped me. I stayed clean and sober.
My sponsor told me that we don't take the credit if they stay sober or if they relapse. We are powerless over people, places, and things. We do not have the power. All we can do is share our experience, strength and hope and what worked for us. Me, I was willing to try anything, using was not an option. I learned long ago that substitution doesn't work.
I saw too many people using pill, pot, food, religion, and gambling maintenance only to relapse, and if they were fortunate, they made it back to the doors of recovery. I have a dear friend who is very addicted to scratch tickets and casinos. I let go of my last AA sponsor because her addictions and her AA program was lacking the kind of principles that I wanted in my life. It all leads to the same soul sickness. I had to detach, I just don't want that kind of person in my life, sober or not. She has 24 years sober.
My first sponsor fired me and I asked her to take me back. I later fired her after hearing her say to someone, "I'm an alcoholic, what do you expect?" My thought was, "I expect you to work your program, apply the Steps and work through it." I still speak with her and talk to her in today, she just isn't my sponsor.
I have this posted on the board, but I have to smile about the 'ego' (easing God out). I got up at my group, sharing my story for a three year anniversary, and said, "I just found out that I have an ego, I thought it was a man thing." The looks on the faces was priceless. There were about 50 people there and about 40 of them men.
