[bluidkiti]

July 3

Step by Step

"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. ...All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced ...that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 30.

Today, I do not have time to waste mulling the myth that I can become a responsible drinker by "controlling" my intake. My own history is etched in the words of the program and probably with the histories of countless others. I lost control at some point, conned myself into thinking I could regain it only to plunge deeper into "incomprehensible demoralization." Only when I understood and believed that my alcoholism is progressive, that it always gets worse and never better without total abstinence, did I come to take Step One: "Admitted (I am) powerless ..." I am still powerless over alcohol and always will be, but I have power in sobriety and, today, I have a choice: don't drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEATH

We surrender to win, we die to live, we suffer to get well, we give it away to keep it.

~ Anonymous ~

The Program teaches us not to fear death as we learn not to fear life. Death must happen for life to be born. Our addiction told us to hold on to all sorts of dead or dying realities. Our addiction prevented us from growing up. We tried to hold on to our youth rather than letting it pass away naturally.

When God called a loved one on, we fought and cursed God for not getting our permission first. When a relationship came and went we sometimes spent years mourning the loss. As death became more fearful to us, we closed ourselves off from the new life that was waiting. Our Program teaches us to let go of the dead and dying and embrace the new. We rejoice in the celebration of life.

I have come to a new reality regarding life and death because I have faced the reality of the death of my addiction and the new life of my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.

~ Bob Goddard ~

We are on a path that leads us to become better men with greater insight and stronger character. A central theme on this path is learning to take responsibility for ourselves, our mistakes, and our choices as we deal with our situation. We can make progress on this path by noticing our defensive reactions when we make a mistake or when someone criticizes us. Our old ways were aimed at shifting the blame or counterattacking to get someone else off our case. Now we are learning how to take on the blame when it honestly belongs to us.

One of the first things we need to learn in taking responsibility is that there is no shame in making a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. But some people don’t accept responsibility for them, and others do. We have much greater respect for someone who does. Admitting when we were wrong doesn’t mean speaking in vague generalities, saying that “mistakes were made.” It doesn’t mean saying, “Yes, I did this, but only because you did that.” It means saying what we did or didn’t do and laying the facts out there for us and others to deal with. When we can do that, forgiveness almost always follows shortly.

Today I will hold back my defensiveness and admit the facts as they are.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In seeking a balanced life, I find so many exciting opportunities to explore and understand that none of them needs to become a compulsion.

~ Michele Fedderly ~

Many of us long to live more balanced lives. We have been “all-or-nothing" women, and living on the edge may have excited us. Overcommitment to causes, people, or a social life kept us from thinking about ourselves. Then we’d crash, only to gather our resources to begin the frantic pace again. Our compulsive activity was countered by total retreat, again and again. The thread that remained the same was our reliance on some chemical to take away the pain.

Are we free of pain now? Not always, but we have more positive ways to handle it. We have friends who will listen. We have sponsors who can suggest new ways to deal with our stumbling blocks. We know women and men who are living more balanced lives, and we can model ourselves after them. Now we have a reason for slowing down. We have come to believe that the present moment is all we really have.

Balancing my activities today will allow me to accomplish more of what really needs to be done.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful (for what I used to take for granted)

Before I got into recovery I couldn't get what I wanted, and whatever I got wasn't enough. Life seemed a struggle and without happiness. I was caught up in feeding my addiction and avoiding my emotional illness. It felt like I was dying.

Even though I've been abstinent and stable but a few months, already I feel more relaxed, lighter. I breathe easier. I smell the air again, see the colors of the sky, and hear nature all around me. But most of all I can see that my life is more than just illness and pain. I am alive and I am grateful for my life.

I will write down two simple things that I am grateful for today.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Everybody should be free to go very slow.

~ Robert Frost ~

We’ve all been in a class we hated. We probably learned very little, and did the minimum amount of work necessary

The same holds true for forcing our loved ones into recovery. We all learn better when we are ready to be taught and more likely to go the extra mile for sobriety. In order to help a person into recovery, we must detach and leave our friend in God’s hands. We can turn to our Higher Power as we mourn for our friend. Our Higher Power will bring us comfort and help us let go.

Maybe our friend has reached bottom and is ready to surrender and accept help. If so, the future can look brighter almost immediately. But maybe he or she needs more time.

A friend is ready to accept help when he or she surrenders the need to control life. We can only pray and wait patiently, while that person begins his (or her) own recovery.

Today help me to let go and let God.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

~ Proverb ~

While the above proverb is familiar to most through one of the more chilling scenes in The Shining, when the discovery of reams of paper on which the proverb is written repeatedly captures the main character’s descent into insanity, it originated at a time when children were required to work as hard as adults. It served as a warning to parents that working their children too hard would deprive them of other experiences.

Working too hard at anything—even your recovery— may prevent you from experiencing other things in life. The holistic focus of recovery urges a balance in everything in your life, and that includes setting aside time to have fun and play.

Removing your addiction from your life has given you many gifts. One of these gifts is more time. Use the time in which you formerly used to become more adventurous, learn something new, or try out a recreational activity you have always wanted to do. You can even engage in activities that you never got to experience as a child— running through a sprinkler on a hot day or simply lying on your back in a field, looking up at the clouds.

Today I will have fun in my addiction. I will do something for no other purpose than sheer enjoyment.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew.

~ Douglas Malloch ~

An old saying tells us, There is no I in team. That means there is no one hero, no one member who carries a team or becomes the personality of the team. The team wins or loses because of all its members, not the actions or omissions of one.

There are many of us who don't like to play on a team. We would prefer individual sports or hobbies. We may like to be in control or seek solitude rather than the company of others. We may even try to assume so many responsibilities that we become the only person who can accomplish a task or job.

Sometimes it's good to be a leader. But leaders also need to know how to be led. To work well with other people, we need to know what it feels like to be a member of a group where we are all equal. A ship comprised of only captains may flounder or be tossed against the shore. A ship with one captain and a crew may sail smoothly and safely by the efforts of all.

Let me become a member of my group, not a leader. Help me extend this affirmation into all areas of my life.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing our program

Sharing is truly valuable. It doesn’t simply help the other guy; it helps us too. By sharing how our program is working, we get the feedback we need (positive or negative) to see clearly. It helps us to see regularly how we are doing.

We can spare ourselves unnecessary pain if we take our experiences to meetings for feedback. As we develop our lives, it helps to know what others are doing to develop theirs.

Am I sharing my problems and progress with others?

Higher Power, help me truly share my recovery so that I can help myself and others.

Today I will share my program with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.

~ ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH ~

Newcomer

I’m having trouble making decisions. There are big ones: Should I go back to school, or should I stay with my present job, where there’s potential for advancement? And there’s smaller stuff: Should I take advantage of special fares and use my vacation time now, or should I stay here and catch up with paperwork so I’ll feel mentally free? I wish I could be two people at once; when I’m confused, all the options sound equal to me.

Sponsor

For some of us, addiction narrowed the options. When we were acting under a compulsion, we couldn’t choose freely, let alone enjoy what we’d chosen. In recovery we may lack experience recognizing our priorities and focusing our attention. Opportunities for making choices, instead of delighting us, may overwhelm us. Abundance may be driving us to distraction.

There is power and vision to be gained by narrowing our options, concentrating our energies. One test that works for me when I have a difficult choice between two alternatives is to ask myself, “If I only had two months to live, which of these things would I want to do?” When I listen closely for inner guidance, my own answers sometimes surprise me.

What if we make a mistake? We remind ourselves that we can do things differently next time. We don’t have to punish ourselves for not knowing everything in advance. Human beings need to have experiences in order to find out what makes our lives better or worse.

Today, I don’t let my decisions overwhelm me. I’m open to what my inner wisdom tells me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days there was no humor in the world except that doubtful brand we heard around the bars. It is certainly true that we took our insignificant affairs and our ridiculous selves most seriously.

In AA, when we became mentally sober, we not only acquired a sense of humor but we were even able to laugh at ourselves. We can now accept the criticism of others with a greater degree of patient good humor, we have learned that the best way to confound our critic is to laugh off his attack with good-humored tolerance.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Happy, Joyous, and Free

I am sure You want me to be happy, joyous, and free.
With Your help I will no longer believe that life has no meaning and is filled with sorrow.
You, the Twelve Steps, and our Fellowship have shown me I made my own misery.
You didn't do it.
I pray I will avoid the deliberate manufacture of misery.
But if trouble comes, I will cheerfully make it an opportunity to demonstrate Your wisdom and power.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 133 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR HEART'S DESIRE

An old adage says: "God has a plan for every man, and He has one for you." Your real problem—the only problem you have—is to find your true calling in life. Everything else will fall into place. You will be happy; and upon happiness, health will follow. You will have all the supply that you require to meet your needs, and this means that you will have perfect freedom; for poverty and freedom cannot go together.

God has not made you without a definite purpose in view. The Universe is a universe; that is, it is a unified harmony, a divine scheme. It could not happen, therefore, that God could create a spiritual entity such as you are, without having a special purpose in view, a special place for you. Whatever the place may be, there can be only one person who can fill it perfectly.

But how is one to find his true place in life? Is there any means whereby you may discover what it really is that God wishes you to do? The answer is divinely simple—already from time to time, God Himself has whispered into your heart just that very wonderful thing, nothing less than what is called your heart's desire. The most secret wish that lies at the bottom of your heart, that is just the very thing that God is wishing you to do or to be for Him. And the birth of that wish in your soul was the voice of God Himself telling you to arise and come up higher because He had need of you.

Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalm37:4).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is the decision I must make.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

A samurai warrior came to a Zen master and commanded him, "Teach me about heaven and hell."

The master looked at the warrior and laughed, ridiculing him, "Why would you think I would waste my time teaching an ignoramus like you? You are an uneducated buffoon!"

The samurai, severely insulted, began to breathe heavily and grew red in the face. Furious, he drew his sword and lifted it to chop off the master's head.

"That, sir," the master interrupted, "is hell."

Immediately, the warrior was overcome with humility. In deference to the profundity of this lesson, he fell at the master's feet and began to thank him profusely.

“And that, sir," continued the master, "is heaven."

Heaven and hell are not eternal dispensations that await us after we die; they are states of mind we experience even while on earth. Whether we live in ecstasy or torture depends not on an outside agent, but on the thoughts we think and the attitudes we hold. Love is the door to heaven, and fear is the path to hell. At any given moment, we hold the key that will unlock either door; the choice is ours.

I want to experience heaven even as I walk the earth. Assist me to love so deeply that I live in paradise continually.

I open the door to heaven with the key of appreciation.