compulsive overeating, bulimia, anorexia , any eating disorder or body distortion disorder are painful illnesses....eating is social, necessary, and highly driven in our society....however those with a disease of abuse of food are lonely, isolated, hurt people , with very low self esteem...I wanted to be fat to hide myself, then be thin because nobody liked me...in other words I didn't know who I was..since childhood I was afraid, I would maybe get close to one friend then ignore her...this was the pattern, eating compulsively is the most secretive, isolated, selfish thing....plus I am killing myself, spiritually and physically each time...to learn in the program how to eat again...using the steps and tools of recovery and good sponsorship, I am learning many of those things over the last 35 years or more that I ate over...I am powerless over food. Each day gets easier, but the footwork is so necessary....everyone is different in binge foods, actions around foods and such , but in the rooms I hear the similarities, more than the differences....to me it always goes back to the whole addictive thing...filling that HOLE in the SOUL....each day I am learning more about that hole and filling it with good memories of each God given day. Peace, Schell
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