Welcome Kathi, so glad you are here. There is a lot of recovery material here. It doesn't matter what substance you used, by now, I am assuming, that you have found out that the problem is you.
I spent many years pointing the finger at others, until I ran out of people, and all I had left was me, and there wasn't 'me' left. Every time I picked up, I lost a piece of me, and there was a big void. The only thing I could find to fill it was with spiritual food.
Welcome to the journey, just for today, I choose not to use.
Sorry, couldn't find a Falcon.
