Today's Thought - March
 

March 1

Do unto others…

Snapping at a friend often results in being snapped at in return. That doesn’t surprise us. Accusations generally elicit an angry defense and an argument. That comes as no surprise either. By contrast, being loving and compassionate toward the people in our lives generally results in others returning love and compassion to us. Why, then, is it harder to express love?

The fear of rejection is strong for many of us. Offering love while fearing it won’t be returned makes us feel too vulnerable. However, the principles we are being exposed to through this program will help us understand that we do receive from others what we give. The scales are balanced. Remembering that before responding to anyone around us will make our lives far more peaceful.

I will know what to expect from others today by how I treat them. I pray to be kind and loving.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own

March 2

The well-known saying “There is nothing to fear but fear itself” seems somewhat simplistic, as does the advice to always “choose love instead of fear.” How do we actually embody these bits of wisdom?

We begin by learning the art of centering by focusing on our breath whenever fear or anxiety starts to grab us. Centering allows us to blend and flow with the current situation rather than block and resist it. Instead of reacting habitually, we pause and begin with our breath. We slowly breathe in through our nose and then hold that breath for a count of four. Next, we breathe that breath out through pursed lips, relaxing our facial muscles, for a count of eight. We repeat this process until we calm down.

With each breath, we can intentionally allow our abdominal breathing to get slower, quieter, and more regular, which communicates to our entire nervous system that we are safe. Breathing in, we are present to whatever is. Breathing out, we calm ourselves. Our breath is the bridge from where we are to where we’d like to be. We ride the waves of our breath to a calmer, safer place, where we can more easily problem-solve and take positive action.

Whenever any strong emotions threaten to overwhelm me, I can practice the art of centering.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones

March 3

The secret of success is constancy of purpose.

~Benjamin Disraeli

Inconsistency is one of the biggest boulders that block our way on the road to recovery. When we’re really fired up to throw off the bondage of the past, we can’t wait to do what it takes. If that means meetings, then so be it. If it means reading, we will read until our eyes hurt. If it means digging into the past, just watch the cobwebs fly! For a while.

Then, sometimes much sooner than later, we figure we’ve done enough, the whole venture may get “old” or seem excessive—so we slack off. We don’t attend as many meetings, the reading slows down, and our family-of-origin work (examining our past and our family’s dynamics to understand their effects on us) is relegated to the bottom of our priority list.

The important thing is not to stop. We don’t have to do it all at once, and we can’t expect a high tide of enthusiasm never to ebb. We just have to do a little bit each day, no matter how we feel.

I won’t let my feelings dictate how I work my program. Today, I will be consistent.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy

March 4

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

~Henry Ford

We tried hard to be good people and good family members, but our illness wouldn’t let us. Our addiction works to make us feel ashamed. At some point in our illness, most of us came to see ourselves as failures. We were not. We were opportunities waiting to blossom. We were out gathering information on how to be better people by learning what not to do.

Shame is about failure; guilt is about mistakes. We are guilty of being addicts and alcoholics. Each day that we are sober we have the opportunity to begin again. Hopefully we will take the knowledge we gain from the day now behind us into the actions of the next twenty-four hours.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for the gift of getting to begin again. Help me to use the opportunities of the day to help others and to learn. Help me to be open-minded, a learner.
Today's Action

Today I will list anything from the past that I still have shame about. I will talk to my sponsor or someone else I respect about how to use the Steps to heal these wounds.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me

March 5

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.

~Colette

Colette was a French writer whose books give us a sense of a life fully lived. Yet even she regretted that she hadn’t appreciated her good fortune earlier on. It was only while writing that she learned to see how lucky and happy she was and to praise life.

Many of us are also late in realizing how rich our lives have been. It is often only in retrospect that we can see the beauty and feel the joy. How beautiful that day was! How much I was loved! How lucky I was to have such good friends around me! What a creative child!

Why didn’t we see what was happening in front of our very eyes? Why couldn’t we seize the moment? It is good to remember; but it is also splendid to live in the present and cherish each moment while it is happening.

I am learning to let go and live in the intensity of the here and now.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

March 6

Wisdom

He who would distinguish the true from the false must have an adequate idea of what is true and false.

~Baruch Spinoza

Wisdom is common sense. It will help us make the right choices in our attitudes and behavior. That way we can continue our spiritual progress.

Sometimes, wisdom is simply willingness to accept with faith the things we don’t know from personal experience. We must receive, with an open mind, the messages of those who have lived through the problems we are facing for the first time.

We need to look for and listen to the wisdom in others. If we do, we will gain confidence in our own ability to tell the true from the false. We will begin to practice the principles of our recovery program in all parts of our lives.

Wisdom is earned. Wisdom is precious. The wise need simply to stand in silence for their wisdom to reveal itself. Let me learn wisdom.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It

Match 7

Conscience is the perfect interpreter of life.

~Karl Barth

In a moment’s pause, before we respond to a person or situation, may come a clear message indicating how we are to act or what we are to say. In that quiet moment, our conscience calls to us. Our willingness to pause, listen, and then act as our Inner Guide suggests, will ensure that our relations with others will reflect our true values.

Many of us feel God’s presence most through our conscience. Seldom are we truly in doubt about the proper response to a friend. And yet, we may still refuse to pause and listen to God’s message—to remember and affirm our values. And then we experience guilt and shame.

We complicate our relationships needlessly when we act before we think. Our agitated ego takes over, and we lose sight of the sure knowledge that God is the director, we are the actors. A quiet mind lets us hear the directions.

I will be quiet, if only for a moment, before sharing my thoughts today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care

Match 8

Loneliness is… when you wish someone else was there, and solitude is when you enjoy being alone.

~Jonathan Van Ness

This path is an alternative to the lifestyles portrayed by Hollywood and the popular media. It is about finding happiness on a deeper level than immediate gratification. It is about a bigger, fuller kind of happiness than we can find in a new car or an erotic one-night stand. No hit sitcom or drama shows the way. No commercial touts the joy that can be found in peace of mind.

Solitude is quiet. It is not loneliness, and it is not neediness. Solitude is the way we meet ourselves; it is the place where we first get honest and finally accept the truths we have been avoiding. It is the place where we are alone with God. Many of us don’t know how to be alone. We have never actually accepted our own companionship or taken on the role of self-care.

We can start by taking a few minutes of quiet, in a room or on a park bench. In that quiet moment, we might simply make a list of what we are grateful for, or speak to God about what we want help with. In solitude, we learn to reach down into our inner well of knowing, where we find guidance.

Today, I will seek the solitude that transforms my life.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones

March 9

AA Thought for the Day

The AA way is the way of sobriety. AA is known everywhere as a method that has been successful with alcoholics. Doctors, psychiatrists, and the clergy have had some success. Some men and women have gotten sober all by themselves. We believe that AA is the most successful and happiest way to sobriety. And yet AA is, of course, not wholly successful. Some are unable to achieve sobriety and some slip back into alcoholism after they have had some measure of sobriety. Am I deeply grateful to have found AA?
Meditation for the Day

Gratitude is the theme of Thanksgiving Day. The pilgrims gathered to give thanks to God for their harvest, which was pitifully small. When we look around at all the things we have today, how can we help being grateful to God? Our families, our homes, our friends, our AA fellowship—all these things are free gifts of God to us. “But for the grace of God,” we would not have them.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be very grateful today. I pray that I may not forget where I might be “But for the grace of God.”

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

March 10

Freedom is not enough.

~Lyndon B. Johnson

We are free of alcohol and other drugs. We’ve been given a second or third chance. For that, we thank our Higher Power. We’ve started a new life. But to keep this life, we need to change. We need new friends. We need to let a Higher Power guide our hearts, minds, and bodies. We need to learn new values and how to stand up for them. We need to learn how to give and to receive.

Freedom from dependence is not enough. We also want to be happy, and to do something with our lives. So each day we keep learning, we keep growing. Each day without alcohol or other drugs is a gift.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, You set me free. Now teach me to stay free. Guide me, for keeping my freedom is a big task.
Action for the Day

I will meditate on my freedom. I will take time to list all the ways I am now free.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple

March 11

Perfectly Fine

After all this time, after all the practice I’ve had perfecting what should by now be perfected, I still don’t do it—anything—perfectly right. I am a perfect example of imperfection, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Perfection is an overrated and impossible goal—in fact, the act of chasing perfection makes perfect imperfect. Perfectionism sucks all the fun out of giving life a whirl.

Perfectionism is not a happy road to follow; it is harsh and demanding, full of judgment and fear. Excellence is my goal. I am on a journey, and I plan to enjoy myself, even laugh at myself—my quirks and silly habits, my screwups and flubs—along the way. Adaptable effort, patience, and reasonable expectations are my mainstays—self-acceptance and a love of this glorious mess that I am are key.

After all this time, after all the practice you’ve had perfecting what should by now be perfected, you still don’t do it—anything—perfectly right either. You—my friends and family—are also perfect examples of imperfection, and I’m perfectly fine with the glorious messes that you are, too.

Embrace the glorious mess that you are.

~Elizabeth Gilbert

Today's reading is from the book Tending Dandelions

March 12

As with expeditions into the wilds when we have endured storms and rapids, cold and sleet, and sometimes lack of food, it is ultimately the good things we remember, not the bad.

~Sigurd F. Olson

In our daily lives, we often take a very short perspective. We see what is worrisome today, what is pressing hardest, or what is most frightening or confusing. Eventually, we may look back and have a totally different idea about what was truly important on this day.

Let us take a moment now to remember what does endure, what we value most, what counts in the long run. For a brief quiet time, we can let go of all the anxieties of this moment. During these few quiet moments, we will identify our tensions and then place them totally into the hands of our Higher Power. This is our time to let go of our worries and be refreshed. It will provide a background of serenity for our day.

Today, help me remember this corner of serenity as I meet the tasks and activities on my path.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

March 13

Asking how

Many days we are tempted to ask Why? Why did this happen to me? Why was I singled out? Why am I not a different person? But the whys lead only to clever explanations and rationalizations of what we do or what we are. The question for us is not Why? but How?

We ask how to learn and work our program of recovery; the “how” can give us a deeper understanding of the program. We ask our Higher Power How? and we will receive the strength and guidance needed. “How’’ will lead to everything needed for recovery and personal growth. “Why” is irrelevant.

Am I learning how to live?

Higher Power, teach me how to live, love, and learn.

Today I will ask how to…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day

March 14

Reflection for the Day

Before I came to the program—in fact, before I knew of the program’s existence—I drifted from crisis to crisis. Occasionally, I tried to use my will to chart a new course; however, like a rudderless ship, I inevitably foundered once again on the rocks of my own despair. Today, in contrast, I receive guidance from my Higher Power. Sometimes, the only answer is a sense of peace or an assurance that all is well. Even though there may be a time of waiting before I see results, or before any direct guidance comes, will I try to remain confident that things are working out in ways that will be for the greatest good of everyone concerned?
Today I Pray

May I not expect instant, verbal communication with my Higher Power, like directions on a stamped, self-addressed postcard. May I have patience, and listen, and sense that my Higher Power is present. May I accept my new feeling of radiant warmth and serenity as my Higher Power’s way of assuring me that I am, finally, making some good choices.
Today I Will Remember

Patience: my Higher Power’s message will come.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time

March 15

Our feelings are our own.

Living with addiction has distorted our perception of life. We have been lied to, cheated on, and placed in danger. We’ve had little hope and perhaps even less confidence. It’s difficult to believe that the addict isn’t responsible for how we feel. But that’s one of the first things we learn from our sponsor and other program members.

They tell us that no matter what the addict does, we are always in charge of how we feel and what we do. We can’t blame other people for our reactions to the events in our lives. That’s not welcome news at first. We have lived through traumatic times, and we think others deserve the blame.

It takes time to grasp the full impact of being wholly responsible for ourselves, but once we do, we begin to have hope. We are no longer defeated. We are empowered. We know no one controls us by his or her actions. The program will guide our attitude change, but we have to want it. Daily commitment will help.

No one will control me today without my consent. I can choose to be serene and hopeful about every detail of my life.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own