October 16

Reflection for the Day

When a person says something rash or ugly, we sometimes say they are "forgetting themselves," meaning they're forgetting their best selves in a sudden outburst of uncontrolled fury. If I remember the kind of person I want to be, hopefully I won't "forget myself" and yield to a fit of temper. I'll believe that the positive always defeats the negative: courage overcomes fear; patience overcomes anger and irritability; love overcomes hatred. Am I always striving for improvement?

Today I Pray

Today I ask that God, to Whom all things are possible, will help me turn negatives into positives - anger into super-energy, fear into a chance to be courageous, hatred into love. May I take time out to remember examples of such positive-from-negative transformations from the whole of my lifetime. Uppermost is God's miracle: my freedom from the slavery of addiction.

Today I Will Remember

Turn negatives into positives.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

October 17

You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment.
--David D. Burns

Good thoughts are like bright colors in a painting. Negative thoughts are dark and dreary and drab. Each day we paint pictures of our own lives with our thoughts. If we step back and look at the canvas, we will see whether the picture is alive with bright colors or dreary and lifeless like a dark cloud. Our thoughts have the power to bring joy or sadness our way, depending on what we expect or look for in our surroundings. The choice of how we want our lives to be is ours. Since we paint a new picture each day, we are always free to change things when they don't please us. What better time than the present?

Is there something in my life I'd like to change today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

October 18

We like someone because, we love someone although.
--Henri de Montherlant

Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we're not feeling close to other family members - when it's hard even to like them - it seems as though we'll never come together again.

But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance.

No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love.

When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

October 19

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
--Anais Nin

We are surrounded by women and men who are necessary for our development. That's a startling revelation perhaps. We don't even like everybody in our life! How can we need them? But we do. Our Higher Power clearly understands our purpose and our needs, and ushers into our lives those people who will help us grow and change and contribute. It sounds mysterious initially, but when we get accustomed to the idea, we are relieved. Each person will teach us something we need to know about life and about ourselves.

Our individual character is growing, changing, maturing. Our understanding of others and our experiences deepens with each unfolding event. The world is ever changing. By design, not coincidence, we will befriend those people who need us, just as we need them.

I am where I need to be. My friends and associates need me as I need them. We are moving and growing in concert.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

October 20

It is a matter first of beginning - and then following through.
--Richard L. Evans

How many times have we started a project or a new path of living only to abandon it after a short time? We may have thought it wasn't what we wanted or there wasn't enough time. Instead of following through, we usually gave up just when it was getting challenging and difficult.

What are our dreams today? Do we wish we could speak a second language, know how to operate a computer, exercise regularly, or attend more meetings? What's stopping us? Each task we'd like to accomplish can only be done by persistence and dedication. We learn a new language one word at a time, learn how to operate a computer one step at a time, exercise regularly one day at a time, and attend more meetings one night at a time.

We don't have to give up an endeavor just because the hard work has begun. Instead of looking down the road where we want to be, we need to look at this moment. If we take a step toward our goals, we'll be closer than if we never took that step.

I can walk toward my goal, remembering each step I take will bring me closer to achievement and personal reward.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

October 21

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.
--Italian proverb

Much of our time has been spent saying, "I'm not good enough for that job," "She's too good for me," or "I don't deserve that compliment." Sometimes we have been very status conscious because underneath we felt unworthy. Many of us have taken either superior or inferior roles with everyone we've dealt with. We ended up with no one who could be our peer or our friend.

True humility occurs when we stop shaming or inflating ourselves and begin accepting ourselves as no worse and no better than anyone else. Then all people are our peers. At our meetings, our powerlessness puts us all in the same box. In the sight of God we are all equal - and status games, which have seemed so important are ultimately silly.

Today, I will remember we are all brothers and sisters in the sight of God.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

October 22

When we have internalized Step One, our lives reflect it.

Admitting we are powerless over alcohol is not very difficult for most of us. Admitting we are powerless over the alcoholic is another matter. After all, we have used shame quite successfully to get our way on occasion, intimidation sometimes worked. Our relentlessness sometimes wore the alcoholic down. But we never really changed that person.

Fully accepting our powerlessness over all other people may seem scary at first. (What will we do with our time?) But it makes our own lives so much simpler. Relief from worry and frustration is only the first gift. Having time to pursue our own goals comes next. Discovering happiness at will is another blessing. Once we get used to being powerless over other people, we'll realize how much living we gave up in the past.

I will find joy in my powerlessness today. I will have more energy for myself.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

October 23

Property Lines

A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hopes and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Their choices are their property, not ours. What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

October 24


Reflection for the Day

Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close are the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The keyword in this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through the Program, I am learning to develop my own personality. Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies?

Today I Pray

May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own personhood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms.

Today I Will Remember
Take the liberty. It's yours.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

October 25

The Junkie can never start to cure himself until he recognizes his true condition.
-- Malcolm X

Now we know what the problem is. Now we can do something about it. The truth of our problem is, we can't handle alcohol or other drugs. They handle us. They control us. The Steps ask us to face the truth. And the truth sets us free. What a wonderful gift! We feared the truth, but now it's our friend. It's a relief. Facing the truth means we're honest. And honesty is our best friend in recovery. It's like a cozy fire on a winter's night. Honesty is how we get well. It's also what will keep us well. Do I truly believe I can't use alcohol or other drugs?

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see my illness for what it is. It's my enemy. Help me see that honesty is my best friend.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll take fifteen minutes to think about what my true condition was when I was drinking and drugging. And I'll think about what my true condition is now.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

October 26

Awaken to the ordinary beauty...

Our lives are filled with demands, responsibilities, expectations, places to go, people to see, things to do. We may get so caught up in the next task that we miss the golden moment happening right now. No matter where we are or what we are doing, if we stop to breathe slowly and notice our surroundings, we will find something to appreciate. We may see a glint of light reflecting off a pane of glass, the look in a friend's eyes, or a small thoughtful thing that our partner does.

Spiritual development is nourished by our senses. The sights, sounds, tastes, touch, and scents in our immediate surroundings are the doorway to awe and mystery. When we awaken to the ordinary beauty in our everyday lives, warm and loving parts of ourselves grow and extend out to those we love.

Quiet yourself for a moment, slowly breathe in and out, and focus on something you appreciate.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

October 27

We learn from making mistakes and repairing them.

We do not believe in perfection, we believe in mending. We make progress toward a goal, but we seldom move in a straight line toward it without missteps. Life is like a zigzag chain of events that first brings everything together just as we want and then spills it all over again. We try to do our best, but inevitably we make mistakes. So a large part of normal daily life is spent mending.

When we accept imperfection as a fact of life, we make peace with the constant need for repairs. Saying I made a mistake and I owe you an apology is never fun, but when we do it we grow stronger. Every disappointment, every complaint, points to an underlying hope or wish. We can use them to point us to repairs we would like to make. We do not learn anything new from correctly repeating what we already know. We learn from making mistakes and repairing them.

Select one complaint or one mistake that you want to mend and turn it into a learning experience.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

October 28

I often think I'm not doing enough with my life. I paint, I golf, I dabble, but is that enough?
--Abby Warman

Nobody can answer the question posed by Abby but ourselves. The point is, are we content? If we hesitate even a moment before replying, perhaps we need to reconsider how we're spending our time.

The solution to fulfillment is simple: Express only love to the others in our lives. It's not what we do, ever, but how we do it. If focusing on giving only love and acceptance to others gives us pleasure, could we want for anything more?

There is nothing anyone can do that's more important than helping another person feel loved or forgiven, if that's called for. Whether we are working or merely at play, our opportunities are unending. We'll know we have done enough if we have welcomed them.

Today I can offer love to someone quite easily. Both of us will be rewarded.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

October 29

Let everyone sweep in front of his [or her] own door, and the whole world will be clean.
--Goethe

Taking care of ourselves rather than trying to control others may be difficult. Our character defects may lead us to believe we should take responsibility for the actions of others. Sometimes we may feel we know how a spouse, co-worker, or friend should act. We may even go so far as to tell someone what he or she should do or do it for them.

Tonight we can reflect on our actions of today. Did we cover up another's behavior, or tell someone what to do, or take control of something that was not our responsibility? We need to realize that taking charge of another's life is not beneficial to anyone. Focusing on another's life keeps us from looking at ours. Doing for others what they should be doing for themselves takes away valuable lessons for growth.

What would happen if everyone in a classroom were the teacher? Who would listen and learn? Who would mature and grow? The teacher in our lives is our Higher Power. Let us respect our instructor and let our Higher Power do the guiding while we grow.

Help me listen and learn and let go of controlling others.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

October 30

Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed....
--Joshua 1:9

It has been said when we are at the end of our rope, we can do one of three things: let go, tie a knot and hang on, or splice the rope and begin again. Whenever we feel there's nowhere to go but down and nobody to turn to, that's when we can start all over again. If we can learn to look beyond the end of something, we'll always see an exciting, fresh beginning.

At the end of every storm is calm. At the end of every argument is silence. At the end of one relationship there is another. Although life is composed of many endings, there are just as many new beginnings. "Life goes on" is even assured by the passage of time - at the end of each minute there's another.

Nights may have many endings, but they will also have just as many beginnings. Just as the sun will set, so the moon will rise and the stars will appear. Just as the day's activities will end, so the evening's activities will begin. And when those activities are over, there will be new experiences the next day.

I can be unafraid of endings because I know they are only the first half of beginnings.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean