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The Love of a Dog http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-dogs-love/0034.gif You are the human I love, My love for you lives inside of me, I feel no anger for you, no resentment, no fatigue or weariness. My love for you does not change, or wither. I lean as close to your body as I can, I drink in your smells, your feelings. I think of you all the time, when you are here, when you are not. I go with you wherever you go, in my heart, in your heart. I will always lean my soul, as close to you as I can get, my love for you is without words, for you, for me, it us beyond your consciousness, or understanding. But my love for you is our language, our vows, our bond, our reality, we don't need the words. When humans fail you, or life empties your spirit, My eyes see the wondrous truth, of who you really are. By author Jon Katz who has the wonderful red border collie that tens of thousands (at least) adore due to his blog. Received with thanks from my friend Carey in Texas |
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Don't always have common sense when it comes to food. God and I are still working on this. It has been up and down, off and on, for too many years for my liking. One thing I did learn, stuffing was not good, moderation and quality and quantity, help to keep me eating healthy. Over indulgency, keeps me acting out in my disease. |
Quote: "Sometimes I think I'm going to die from the sadness. Not that anyone ever died from crying for two hours, but it sure feels like it." As a survivor of child (sexual) abuse you have a lot to grieve for. You will grieve for the way you were hurt. You will grieve for not being protected, for the things you missed out on as a child. You will grieve for the time and money it takes to heal, for the relationships and happiness you have lost. If you covered up your pain by pretending you had a happy childhood, you will have to grieve for the ideal family you didn't really have. You'll have to give up the idea that the abuser had your best interests at heart. You may have to grieve for the fact that you don't have suitable grandparents for your children, or a family you can depend on. You must also grieve for the shattered image of a world that is fair and safe for children. You will grieve for your lost innocence and ability to trust. Quote: As a survivor of child 'sexual' abuse you have a lot to grieve for. Buried grief Buried grief poisons you. It limits your ability to feel joy or to be fully alive. An important part of healing is to express the grief you've carried inside. When you were young, you had to hide your feelings. Now, to move on in your life, you need to go back and relive the experiences you had as a child. You have to feel the grief and anguish, but this time with the support of caring people. You might wonder how going back into the pain can help release you from it. But this is how healing from trauma works. The way to move beyond grief is to experience your pain fully and honor your feelings. When you face your feelings, and they are met with caring and compassion, they change. - A first book for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis A lot of my pain was done by a psychic healer and by using Dyanetics written by L. Ron Hubbard.,which is a tool of The Church of Scientology. I don't believe in the church but I believe in the tool that is offered. It goes beyond Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve and helps you to heal at a deeper level. Some of the pain I revisited, but a lot of it was just a mass of pent up energy, that I needed to release and let go of in a healthy way. I didn't have to "live" in it, I could revisit but come back to the present and not stay there which is so important when healing this type of pain. That was then, this is now; but what happened back then, can affect me in today until I heal and let it go. About Grief You may feel foolish crying over events that happened so long ago. But grief stays stored up until you have a chance to express it. Quote: The way to move beyond grief is to experience your pain fully and honor your feelings. Grief has its own timing. You can't say, "This is it. I'm going to grieve now." You have to make room for grief as it arises. You need to give yourself the time and space to let go. Quote: "I had been in therapy for several months and I began to feel safe. There were weeks when I entered the building, went up the stairs, and checked in, all with a smile on my face. Then I'd enter the office, and my therapist would close the door. Before she could even get to her chair, I'd be crying. Deep within me I help those feelings, waiting until I new there would be time and compassion." However your grieve, allow yourself to release the feelings you've been holding inside. Grieving can be a grief relief. Many times over the years, especially the last eleven years of recovery; I have sat in meditation after asking for what I needed to heal, and the ability to let go of what I didn't need, want or desire. I have sat there with tears just streaming down my face. Most times, not knowing the source, but other times, as a result of something that had triggered me in today. Tears are a great healer. They cleanse the soul. Written in 2010 |
The following was a post I made in January of 2004 at my site Star Choices A drug is a drug, no matter what you use. Anything that is mind altering and allows you to escape yourself. I once heard someone say, "Anything that stands between you and your God and what he would have you do and be, in today!" Love Always, CC Since I started going to NA 18 years ago, I have repeatedly come across people who think that just because I was addicted to prescription pills, and didn't do "street" drugs, I am not a 'real' addict. Several times over the years I have heard people say "I am a 'real' alcoholic. Well prescription drugs where dried up alcohol for me. I didn't have blackouts with alcohol, but I did with pills. I didn't like all kinds of alcohol, but I sure liked all kinds of pills. When I quit smoking, I tried Zyban. I took a pill and waited for the 'craving' to disappear. I didn't read the instructions, I thought I knew! The Ms. Know It All Addict thought she knew what she was doing. It ended up I was allowed to take the pills for five days and smoke too. I quit smoking and took the pills expecting the instant fix! When I finally read the instructions, it gave me permission to smoke, and I tried it their way and all the pill did was make the cigarettes taste bad, so I quit the pills and the cigarettes. Since I have been going through the problem with doctors and having to deal with pain with no medication, it has been so difficult to 'take as prescribed' the meds I am allowed. I had not been to a meeting for three weeks because of pain, life and the holidays. I found myself cussing, totally addicted to my computer games, and not posting on my sites or here. I had nothing to give! I went to CA on Friday night for a three and a four year anniversary, and then to my friend's five year anniversary on Saturday in AA, and if I hadn't felt in so much pain, drained of energy and so tired, I would have done NA on Sunday. Then I got word that my Aunt who is 81 had a stroke. I thought of her Sunday, was near her building and 3 p.m. and she had the stroke at 4 p.m. I had a lot of guilt because I didn't follow the thought and go see her, although I know I was powerless over stopping her stroke. What I have been beating myself up for was the fact that I didn't listen to myself. I have spent years learning to listen to that inner voice, what I call my Higher Self, and I didn't follow through on it. Perhaps I wasn't meant to, and it happened as it should, but I have also found it happening in little things, like at my bridge club tonight. It has been a big lesson, and I know that for me, sometimes "thought" can mess me up. Being an Aries, it isn't always good to intellectualize everything, and it is difficult for me to "Let Go" and trust that God is doing His part, without me having my fingers in the pie!!!! In the telling of this, I am starting to smile and have a chuckle, it sure helps to put it into words. |
The 4 D's of spiritual growth http://www.animated-gifs.eu/phone-24...ngels/0224.gif "Strive to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To be too wise for worry, too tolerant for hate, and too courageous to be fearful. In short, to be happy." -- Unknown Source Reflect on this pathway for meaningful growth: DISCIPLINE - To create change in our lives, we need to consistently focus on what we want. DETACHMENT - Practice the art of detached observation. Let go of automatic defenses and patterns. DISCERNMENT - Seek to discern the lower from the higher. What is self-serving and what is soul-inspired? Discernment carries no judgment. There are no goods and bads. Remain as a detached witness. DHARMA - This is an East Indian word meaning "living your unique purpose." How do you find meaning and fulfillment in ways that are natural to you? How do you best serve and contribute to the world? "If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears." -- Glenn Clark |
Something I posted on another site 2010:
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Eight Gifts that Do Not Cost A Cent http://www.animated-gifs.eu/phone-24...ngels/0429.gif 1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING... But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening. 2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION... Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends. 3. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER... Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you." 4. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE... It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life. 5. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT... A simple and sincere, You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day. 6. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR... Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. 7. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE... There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others. 8. THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION... The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone. Really, it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You. |
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From my site Soundness of Mind |
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From my site Soundness of Mind |
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An oldie but a goodie. |
Had a lot of guilt, because of my religious upbringing, I was very angry at God when I came into recovery. Found out it was more about the church and the "Thou Shall Nots" I was brought up in the Gospel Halls and you couldn't dance, play cards, couldn't go outside and have fun because it was Sunday. My mom broke down and let us go to a few drive in movies, we went to see one on forest fires, I got triggered from when our house got struck by lightening. I started crying, burying my head in my lap and was totally terrified. We left, my mother felt guilty and stopped us from going to movies.
When I came into recovery, the only God I knew was the God of my childhood. I am afraid my belief, faith, and trust was conditional and they talked about a Higher Power, and my attitude was, `Don`t tell me, show me.` My God showed Himself to me and as you know, I like to say, God is, as He reveals Himself to me in today. I used only my Bible for meditation for my first year, later I was given the book Serenity, the New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs, which were cross reference with the Steps. I found that I had been working and living the Steps without knowing it. I said a prayer each night, opened the book, and read the page I opened to, and anything that spoke out to me, I wrote down. It started small asking for help every morning to stay clean and sober for that day and giving thanks at night. When I came up upon something new or troublesome, the Serenity Prayer saved the day. I found out that I could wear it out. There is certainly a difference by saying it and meaning it, rather than just playing lip service. In today, I KNOW my God is there. I can be walking down the street and saying, Hey Big Guy, this one is for you. I am just as apt to say, Can you not give me a little hint so we both know. I try to take time outs during my day and asking for help, especially when my pain is bad. I ask for what I need to change, let go, unblock what is preventing me to connect to my God or to the answers that I know are there and I can not see in the moment. My faith is knowing it is there, it is about me surrendering it ALL to Him, not giving up but giving over, because I know my way does not work. I am grateful that in today, that my God is loving, caring, forgiving, and oh so much more. As the verse in the Bible says, He strengthens me and all things are possible according to His Divine Plan. The most helpful prayer is praying for the willingness to be willing. I was told to not pray for specifics for myself or family and friends. That is playing God with other people's lives. I was told to pray for what they needed according to their Higher Good. When I did healing sessions with a friend, I would tell people, this is a contract between my God and your God, as to how much you receive and how open and willing you are to receive. I was just a channel, and sometimes I was given thoughts as to what I needed to do or get them to do for their health and well being. All we can do is pray and leave the outcome to our God. As they say, you can't help those who are not willing to change. We may not all have the same view and perspective of God, but the Spirituality of the program, brings us together as one. http://angelwinks.net/images/kidpod/kidpod1146.jpg |
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If a Kiss was a raindrop, I'd send you showers. If a hug was a second, I'd send you hours. If a smile was water, I'd send you the sea. If love was a person, I'd send you me. Have A Great Day! |
http://i667.photobucket.com/albums/v.../XYZ/heart.gif When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless effort, GOD knows how hard you have tried. When you've cried so long your heart is in anguish, GOD has counted your tears. If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by, GOD is waiting for you. When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated, GOD has the answer. If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope, GOD has whispered to you. When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for, GOD has blessed you. When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe, GOD has smiled upon you. Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are feeling, GOD knows! |
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How we perceive our self, is not what others see. So many time we wore that mask, hoping it will not only cover our face, but what we feel inside. |
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