Just for today, I will continue to pray for the willingness to be willing to participate in my life.

"There are no victims, only volunteers - you always have a choice."

- - unknown

Well I know that I am victorious over my disease. I am not always victorious over my defects of character because I am powerless without my Higher Power. Those I try to leave up to my Higher Power to change, to give me awareness, and knowing as to what I need to do find the acceptance, the right attitude, and action to bring it about.

Not a victim very often, although there are times that I feel as though I am being victimized. That was the story of my life and have no desire to go back there.

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Just for today, I will be grateful for God's wonderful gift of creation. I went out into the sunshine, even though it was a bit windy and a little chilly at 52 deg. F. Any day the sun shines is a good day!

Just for today, I will be accepting of what is in the moment. Acceptance is the key to sobriety. I can be sober, but to find true sobriety, is a wondrous gift.

My spiritual adviser said that sobriety means "Soundness of Mind." Not always easy to come by, and to find it, I need to get out of my own way and allow my God to work in my life. This is a 24 hour a day program, not a 2-4 hour a day program.

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Just for today, I will sit in the silence and listen for the wisdom, vision and guidance my God has for me in today. I will still the internal chatter and get out of the way, so I can act in God's Way, not mine.

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You will grieve your friend for a long time, take a while to grieve her loss. Something that worked for me, was to find someone who had a few years less than I have, and I found that she really helped. Most of my sponsors had more. For many years, I have had a Native American woman as a co-sponsor. The one in my life today has 18 years in AA. My last AA sponsor had a year more in AA than I have but not close to her as she has an issue about relationship, has an eating disorder, and has gone to GA but continues to do scratch tickets. That is not the kind of sobriety I want for myself. I know I have stinking thinking when it comes to eating, the Food for Thought readings have helped me. I don't purge and/or not eat, unless I am sick. Lately, I put food on my plate and I have trouble eating it all. As they say, it isn't how much you use, it is about what it does to you when you pick up. Some people told me they spilled more than I drank, but that doesn't mean I am not an alcoholic. As I like to say, "Some is good, more is better," that is the way this addict has thought for years.

Have had to change doctors twice in recovery. The almighty pill isn't always the answer. How do I feel? Is it mind altering? Am I living in reality and seeing things they way they are or the way I want them to be.

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Just for today, I will acknowledge my feeling. I will listen to what my body is telling me. So often my emotional pain makes itself known physically.

My God's Love can see me through the day no matter what. Just for today, I choose not to use.

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Just for today, I will acknowledge my feelings instead of trying to stuff or ignore them. I will work through them instead of going around, under or over them. The best way to deal with my was to write them out, either on paper or like I do, post here on the site.

Truthfully, I am really scared. Don't like how my head feels. It is hard to describe it, I have a lot of pressure, feel disconnected, pain in my head and having problems

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Just for today, I will accept what is, knowing it is subject to change. As they say, "This too shall pass." This means the good as well as the not so good.

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Just for today, I will ask for the inner knowing. My meditation today told me to "Listen." When I ask, it will be given to me, so I need to be careful of what I am asking for. I can't hear if I am busy with internal chatter and looking outside of myself for the answers. I need to go with and listen for that still small voice.

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Just for today, I will trust the process. I am a work in progress. There are a lot of things God and I are still working on.

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Just for today, I will be grateful. I am grateful that I was still up when my friend called me tonight. It made me sad to hear her and know that she was calling high as a kite. She did call and talk about meetings, not sure her motive is right, but this is the second time she has asked, so told her that we can go to the weekly morning meetings starting Monday. They are at her end of the City, but I can take an express bus to meet her. She has a commitment tomorrow and I have one on Friday. Hopefully she will decide to be sober by Monday.

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Just for today, I will remember to pray. When I went through a treatment house, 11 women started and only 3 finished the program. The three of us hung around together and all three of us got our one year. The other two relapsed, and it was a difficult time for me. One came back into the program, my friend who called the other day. Today I saw the other girl, who chooses still to use. I spoke to her and gave her a hug. Afterward, I wondered if I should have taken her for lunch, but figured she wasn't really interested in that, she was headed in the direction of the liquor store. I certainly didn't give her money, she had just gotten her Welfare Cheque. When I got home I called my other friend to say I had seen her, we had just commented last week about wondering if she was alive. It is good that she is alive and every time I see her, I hope it will give her incentive to get clean again. All I can do is pray for her.

Prayers for those near and far.

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Just for today, I will have faith in my God and know that He will supply my needs. He has showed me this many times over in recovery, He did it prior to recovery, but I was too ungrateful to notice. I should have been dead many times over, and yet I made it to the doors of recovery at 49 years of age. Here I am, 24 years, plus 3 months, still benefiting from His Care and my faith has grown beyond anything I could have imagined before. In recovery, I had to overcome countless fears, many of them false and old tapes from my past.

Just for today, I will believe and trust that my God believes in me.

Prefer, stand with God not under God. I believe in Step Two, they have a list of who He is. Master Physician, Creator, Father, etc. He is my Friend and I don't stand in fear of Him as I did as a child and young adult, when I misunderstood Him. He wasn't out to get me. He wanted me to get Him.

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/fox-a...symbolism.html

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Just for today, I will listen for the sound of His Voice. I will be open minded and be open to new teaching and message that will help me stay clean and sober and walk in the way He would have me go.

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Just for today, I will ask for forgiveness. It came up in my meditation, so best I heed the call. It is more often than not, forgiving myself. I can be my hardest task master. I have to remember to not keep shoulding all over the place.

I am a child of God. I know that His Love and Care is Forgiving.

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Just for today, I will be grateful for the small things. A ray of sunshine can warm the heart and put a smile on my face. I like to say a prayer and ask for it's healing rays and give thanks. As one of my books said, "Give thanks, it is already on it's way." When you ask, you will receive. I have to be willing to be open to receive. If I am sitting with my arms across my chest in utter defiance, How can I receive my God's Blessings?

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Just for today, I will put my life in the care of my Guardian Angel. I believe we all have one. I am also very grateful for the Earth Angels that my God has put in my path.

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Just for today, I will not procrastinate. I will ask for the willingness to be willing what I need to do for my health and well being. I always remember it is a 5 syllable words for the word sloth. Sloth leaves such an ugly picture in my mind and yet it is something that I often succumb to.

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Just for today, I will take action. I will follow thought with action. I will also remember that, just because I have a thought, it doesn't mean I have to act on it. I believe that is what it means when we say the Serenity Prayer, "....the wisdom to know the difference."

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Just for today, I will forgive myself. If I can't forgive myself, how can I forgive others. A counsellor asked me when I was 6 years sober, "Why haven't you forgiven yourself?" I replied, "I never thought to ask." I didn't think I was worthy. The old church tapes and tapes from my parents said I was a walking sin. Every step I took through my life I feared that God was going to strike me down, and if something bad happened, I deserved it.

I had to build a new relationship with my God, so I could walk in faith instead of fear. One Sunday, I went to church, took communion and said, "God that is my amend to you. I never went back to church. I have thought for the last year of going back, but like meetings, I just don't get out and about. Like today, my nights and days get turned around. I went to bed about 7 a.m. and woke up at 10 a.m., I made the decision to go back to bed because my feet were so badly swollen. I woke up at 4:50 p.m. having slept the day away. That is a lot of sleep for a person who never slept much. I am not sure if it was the new medication or just the healing I asked for in a meditation before I went to bed, after talking to my friend Sharon at 9 p.m. until 11 p.m. ;) I gave thanks for the sleep and the healing, because I didn't wake up with a head ache, and my feet aren't as so badly swollen. There was a part of me that felt guilty for sleeping the day away, and even though they say, "Your body must have needed it," I feel like it was a bad thing to do to sleep the day away even though it is raining. So now having expressed myself, now I can let it go. I missed lunch and my noon meds, so had two of the blueberry muffins when I woke up and now I have to figure out what is for dinner.

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Just for today, I will be accepting of what is. I will surrender to the moment, knowing that I will be empowered to do what I need to do in today. Accepting doesn't mean I have to like it, but without acceptance, I can't move forward, grow or change.

In the moment, I accept the fact that I am hungry and I need to go and eat. It is not a spiritual or emotional void, it is a physical need that is necessary for my health and well being.

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Just for today, I will remember H.A.L.T. - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. It was important for me to remember that I had to apply this to not only my physical life, but my emotional, mental, and spiritual too.

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Just for today, I will my a conscious effort to connect with the God of my understanding. I will do a meditation and listen to what He has to say to me in today. Maybe I can get out of doing laundry. Sorry, only kidding.

When I told a friend that God dried the dishes in my house, she replied, "Aren't you over relying on God." I said, "Oh No! He makes the air we breathe, and the air dries my dishes." I can never live through a day without relying on Him.

It is important to pray. It is more important to listen for the answers.

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Just for today, I will live in the moment and be accepting. I will lower my expectations, of myself and others. I will get out of my own way and allow things to happen as they should be, and not try to make things happen and play god with my life. I accept that my God knows what is best for me.

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Just for today, I will look for the blessings and give thanks. Today was mild, but it was windy and foggy, and it rained for most of the day. It was a dampness that went to the bones, so glad I didn't have to be out long in it. I got a bus right away that took me to the library and didn't have long to wait for a bus home. It is those little things that help a day go by and hours disappear and before you know it, the day is over. I used to make the time disappear. The days were so long, and I wanted time and life to go away. Now there are not enough hours in a day, now that is a real gift.

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Just for today, I will practice patience and tolerance and wait to hear from my son. He could hardly walk and actually fell because of pains in his spine. I offered to go with him, but he said "No!" He had to take a taxi, because he could hardly walk downstairs. I wanted him to take an ambulance, but he said, "No, they cost too much."

I will practice prayer and be tolerant with myself if I feel a little anxious.

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Just for today, I will be grateful. My son is feeling better and we are both going to the chiropractor today. I have been hurting too much to make my butterscotch oatmeal cookies, but still have them on my mind. I will be grateful when the threat of rain passes today, and hopefully be more productive tomorrow.

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Just for today, I will apply the program to all areas of my life. I no longer want to drink and drug, but I have to work on my emotional and spiritual sobriety daily. I will connect with the God of my understanding and ask for his Good Orderly Direction for today and follow it to the best of my ability.

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Just for today, I will be accepting of what is. Today was not a good day. I can accept that and not beat myself up over it. I am hurting today, so I am not going to defy what is going on, and get off my computer.

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Just for today, I will use my manners and watch my words. A little courtesy and a smile go a long way.

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Just for today, I will practice the principles in all of my affairs. The 12 Steps are applicable to all areas of my life.

The Steps of Recovery

1. I Can't
2. He Can
3. I'll Let Him
4. Clean House
5. Trust God
6. Surrender
7. Attitude Change
8. Prepare To End Isolation
9. Amending Actions
10. Basis for a Daily Living
11. Peace of Mind
12. Joy of Living Through Action

Tradition One - Unity
Tradition Two - Right Relation to HP
Tradition Three - Willingness
Tradition Four - Live & Let Live
Tradition Five - First Things First
Tradition Six - Keep It Simple
Tradition Seven - Self-Support
Tradition Eight - Altruism
Tradition Nine - Service, Responsiveness & Responsibility
Tradition Ten - Harmony
Tradition Eleven - Personal Humility
Tradition Twelve - Tolerance

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Just for today, I will practice the principles in all of my affairs. The 12 Steps are applicable to all areas of my life.

The Steps of Recovery

1. I Can't
2. He Can
3. I'll Let Him
4. Clean House
5. Trust God
6. Surrender
7. Attitude Change
8. Prepare To End Isolation
9. Amending Actions
10. Basis for a Daily Living
11. Peace of Mind
12. Joy of Living Through Action

Tradition One - Unity
Tradition Two - Right Relation to HP
Tradition Three - Willingness
Tradition Four - Live & Let Live
Tradition Five - First Things First
Tradition Six - Keep It Simple
Tradition Seven - Self-Support
Tradition Eight - Altruism
Tradition Nine - Service, Responsiveness & Responsibility
Tradition Ten - Harmony
Tradition Eleven - Personal Humility
Tradition Twelve - Tolerance

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Just for today, I will be calm. I will go within and find peace. I know I am never alone. The God of my understanding is always with me. We are part of the whole, and I like the fact that no matter where I go, I will find an AA meeting and a Fellowship of alcoholics and addicts who understand me and have been where I have been.

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Just for today, I will pray for the willingness to be willing to do what I need to do for my health and well being. Feeling like I have a cold coming on and don't want to be sick for Christmas. Don't want to pass it on to my family. Woke up yesterday with a sore throat, a runny nose, a head ache, and the body is hurting enough that I just want my bed. I was told to do the do things, nurture yourself and be open to receive the healing energies you need.

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Just for today, I pray to make healthy decision. I will turn things over and listen for the answers, instead of assuming I know best. I will ask for Good Orderly Direction and follow them to the best of my ability, so I don't make an a$$ out of me or you.

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Just for today, I will not worry. I will let go and let God and trust in His Process.

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing.

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53

When I surrender, I am empowered to do what I need to do today for my sobriety.

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Just for today, I am willing to accept that I can't do what I want to do. I am also willing to accept that it is best for my sister if I stay home, not just because of MY cold, but because of HER heart condition. If I am meant to be, it will happen, so I will walk in faith and trust what will be, will be.

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Just for today, I will pray for good health. I will try to the best of my ability to make healthy choices. I will look at the whole picture, not at what is good just for me, but for the whole of my family.

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Just for today, I will give thanks. Not only for the gifts, but the fellowship with my family, not to forget the food (chicken, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, carrots, squash, corn, lemon and pumpkin pies, and zucchini bread pudding) that was delicious. My family doesn't like turkey, but that is okay, because I had me some the day before.

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