OK so the Olympics were fun and its all great seeing various clips of back stories etc but i never thought i would find any reporting i enjoyed. But this one i could not resist (re)posting.

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Start the day out with a smile and have a great one!!

Received with thanks from my friend Linda

Snagged this from FB. I have seen it before, but still just 2 2 funny.

Clifford and Daisy May were married for many years.

Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. Clifford would shout, "When I die, I'll dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life ol' woman!!"

Neighbors feared him. Old Clifford liked the fact that he was feared. He died at the ripe old age of 98.

After the burial, Daisy May's neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

She replied, "LET HIM DIG. I HAD HIM BURIED UPSIDE DOWN...AND I KNOW HE WON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS."

Had this on a post that I deleted because the link no longer worked. I find it funny, so didn't want to delete it.

I am looking at it from a retirement point of view. When I retired I was the busiest person doing nothing that I knew.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/humorpod/humorpod74.gif

I man and his blonde wife were listening to a weather report on the radio. The announcer said.."We are expecting a foot of snow tonight. We ask all of you to park you cars on the side of the street with even numbered addresses so the snowplows can get down the street. She put her car on the even numbered side.

A few weeks later...another announcement: We are expecting a foot of snow tonight. Would youplease park yuo car on the street on the odd numbered address side so the snowplows can get thru.. She moved her car there.

A few weeks later she was listening again. The announcer said..We are expection another foot of snow tonight. Would you please park your cars.......... and the electricity went off.

She turned to her husband and said..Where shall I park my car? I could no hear the end of the announcement. The husband smiled and said..Why not just leave it in the garage this time.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/iq/chqc39.jpg

An old-timer spoke about the danger of becoming
complacent and explained the need for the Steps
in her life. "The way I see it," she said,
"I might have gotten the monkey off my back,
but the circus is still in town."

~!~!~!~!~

A drunk had applied for a driver's license in a new state.
One of the test questions read,
"Have you ever been arrested for drunk driving?"
He replied in the negative. Just below that,
there was another question: "Why?"
He puzzled over it for a moment and then wrote,
"Never been caught."

Cute joke..what do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bug Bunny.

https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M...=0&w=300&h=300

A woman watched her husband stand on the scale. He was trying to suck in his gut. She told him that would not help. He said yes it will...it helps me see the numbers.

St Patrick's day joke...what does a leprechaun put on his porch? Paddy O'furniture!

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